Relationships – Personal Growth Cafe

October 22, 2019March 27, 2018

Nine Ways to Ignite the Passion in Your Relationships

After you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you’re likely to encounter a time when the passion dies down.

However, it’s not something you should completely live without either.

Everyone falls into certain patterns that are comfortable.

But, by breaking out of your comfort zone every so often, you’ll experience a sense of newness in your relationship.

It’s important to seek out that certain spark you felt when you first got together with your partner.

Those feelings are still there, you just might need to be creative in finding ways to bring them out again.

Here are some ways that you can reignite the passion in your relationships:

1. Go out of your way. Remember at the beginning of your relationship how you would go out of your way to make your partner extra happy?

Make these efforts again!

It’ll surprise your partner and be a reminder about how much you love them.

It doesn’t have to be an everyday thing, but everyone deserves a little “above and beyond” treatment!

2. Show your gratitude. You often think to yourself how grateful you are that your partner did something for you, and it’s important to let your partner know of your gratitude, too.

You can do this through better communication and positive actions.

Many times a simple, “Thank you for…” statement will let him know how much you appreciate his efforts.

3. Be considerate. Sometimes your partner is the only one who will allow you to be blunt and abrupt.

It’s important to vent, but remember to act considerate around your partner as much as you can.

4. Spend time alone together. Everyone is busy, but you need to make the extra effort to have alone time together.

It’s still important to make dates with each other and do things you’ve never done before.

5. Show affection. There are certainly ways to show your affection for your partner beyond bedroom activities.

Show your love for each other with gentle touches and hugs.

Snuggle together on the couch and just enjoy the closeness.

6. Seek adventure. Everyone has his or her own definition of adventure.

You and your partner may even find different things adventurous.

Do some of these activities together.

Engaging in exhilarating activities can certainly ignite the passion.

7. Enjoy your own alone time. On the other side of the coin, it’s a good idea to spend time away from your partner as well.

Everyone needs space at times.

Also, time apart can build up the anticipation for some of the things you may have planned with your partner.

8. Share your goals. Keep an open conversation with your partner about your future plans.

Things may not always go according to plan, but it’s good to talk about your dreams and goals.

While it’s fun to discuss what things were like at the beginning of your relationship, it’s also enjoyable to discuss where you think things are going.

9. Surprise! Surprise your partner with a gift.

It doesn’t have to be something expensive; in fact, you could even make it yourself.

Just explore some thoughtful ideas that will let your partner know that you care about them.

You’ll find passion in your relationship as long as you make an effort to break up the monotony.

Communicate well, spend time together, and explore new activities together.

When you do, you’ll discover the keys to a successful passionate relationship.

How passionate is your relationship right now?

What activities can bring passion back into your relationship?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 11, 2019March 27, 2018

Help Your Children Develop Independence

When your children are young, they depend on you for their every need.

Sometimes it’s difficult for you to sit back and watch them develop their own independence.

It might be tough but when you allow your child to make his or her own mistakes and learn life lessons early, they’ll grow into happy and healthy adults.

The best thing you can do is to find a balance because you don’t want to allow your child too much independence too early.

You want to be able to watch your child develop independence from the sidelines so you can step in when needed.

Consider these tips as you nudge your child towards an independent life:

1. Let them make choices. While you don’t want your children making all the decisions, it’s important to allow them to make certain choices from time to time. Even as young toddlers you can give them opportunities to choose and develop independence.

Allow your children their own meal choices.

Let them pick some family activities.

Let them choose toys and pursue their own hobbies.

Allow them to dress themselves as long as their choices are appropriate.

2. Work on social skills. A large part of independence is learning how to effectively communicate. Improper communication skills can hold your child back. Children of all ages can work on developing better social skills.

Reinforce the idea of sharing with young children.

Teach your children appropriate ways to make friends.

Teach them how to be polite and to use good manners.

3. Life lessons. It’s always a good idea to work on life lessons.

This can be done early as well.

Your children don’t need you to treat them as if you’ll always be there to take care of their every need.

While you should always be there for them emotionally, teach them that you won’t solve every problem for them.

Assign age appropriate chores to your children.

Provide them with rewards for a job well done.

Teach your children time management and problem solving skills.

Young Children

When you create a good learning environment for your children right from the beginning, they’ll start to develop independence on their own.

They’ll learn to crawl to you and walk to you.

It’s important to give them opportunities to learn on their own early on.

If they attend daycare, they’ll work on these skills during the day while you’re at work.

If not, it might be a good idea to attend a local playgroup so your child can get to know others their age.

During these opportunities, let them do as they please while you watch from the sidelines.

Let them play and only step in when needed.

If your child begins to fight with another child over a toy, step in momentarily to reinforce the idea of sharing.

Whenever your child shows positive social skills, remember it together and reward them for their good behavior.

Older Children

Older children present a different set of parenting requirements.

You might be scared as they face life’s tough decisions, but in the end you need to trust that they’ll make the right choices.

After all, you can’t make decisions for them, but you’ll probably realize that your kids are smarter than you think!

In these circumstances, all you can do is work to keep the lines of communication open.

As your children are growing up, have the tough conversations with them and let them know that you can be relied upon for your love and support.

Trust your children, but monitor them closely if you do have suspicions of negative activities.

You shouldn’t encroach on their personal space, but there are still things you can do, such as keep track of their online activities and ask them where they’re going, with whom, and when they’ll be back.

Set rules and curfews to help them make good choices.

Follow these tips and you’ll be rewarded with joy and pride as your children grow into capable, confident adults.

How independent are your children at the moment?

What activities can help build their independence?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 8, 2019March 27, 2018

How to Avoid Relationships that Sap Your Soul

It’s easy to get drawn into a negative relationship.

It may have started out seemingly perfect, but things seemed to change overnight.

It may be time to decide whether or not the positive attributes outweigh the negative ones when it comes to your relationship choices.

If you’re unhappy and emotionally drained after a break up, you might not be feeling too optimistic about throwing yourself back out there.

However, opening yourself up to new opportunities is the only way you’re going to reach the happiness you seek.

The best thing you can do is to educate yourself well enough to know what to look for and what to avoid.

It’s not a fail-proof plan, but by following certain strategies, you can increase your chances of a lasting relationship.

Try taking these actions to avoid negative relationships:

1. Avoid falling back on the wrong person.

If you’re feeling particularly lonely, you may feel the urge to fall back on someone that’s not right for you.

Deep down you know that this person is not “the one” and yet you come crawling back anyway trying to convince yourself that maybe the person can change.

Chances are, they won’t.

2. Spend time getting to know your partner.

Focus on getting to know your partner first before getting too serious in the relationship.

Try to have some of the heavy conversations near the beginning of the relationship.

This way if you hit major snags you can either decide to work through it or move on quickly.

3. Learn your partner’s history.

Are there disturbing events in his or her past?

It’s clearly best to avoid people who have a history of violence or intense addiction.

If they do and you choose to proceed with the relationship, be extra cautious and set the ground rules from the beginning.

4. Avoid manipulative people.

You might not realize it at first, but if you find that you’re being manipulated often, it can prove to be a serious drain on your relationship.

If your partner is controlling and always has a selfish motive for their actions, it isn’t the best relationship to be in.

Recognize these red flags when you see them and get out before you get too attached.

5. Make a checklist.

Take some time to make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in a partner.

Include qualities you like as well as qualities that you dislike.

This checklist will help you determine whether the relationship is right for you.

Here’s a tip: avoid writing down superficial characteristics such as looks.

First and foremost, you must be attracted to his or her personality because the superficial things can and will change as you age.

Relationships can be difficult; it’s just a reality of human nature.

The fact that many relationships end shouldn’t have any impact on your hope for the future.

There are plenty of people out there that will be a good match, so it’s okay to avoid relationships that sap your soul.

Remember: you do have a choice!

Focus on finding the right partner for you and then take action to make it the positive relationship you’ve always dreamed of!

How much do you love yourself?

How do you feel about the relationship you have now?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 4, 2019March 26, 2018

My commitment to my loved ones is building forever roots.

My highest priority is for those I love.

Showing them my love in all that I do and say is a positive force that brings lasting happiness to us all.

I show my commitment to my family even in my everyday, routine activities.

When I cook a meal, I do it with love.

Not only do I foster good nutrition in my choices, but I also put special touches on it to let them know I care.

Little things like pancakes in the shape of Mickey Mouse or heart-shaped cakes bring more fun and love into our life!

When I work, I know that I am doing it not only for myself, but for my family in order to provide the things we need and want.

This gives me motivation and patience to persevere even when work may be irritating.

When I am at home with my family, I make time for each and every person.

This lets them know how special and loved they are.

They know that, no matter what, I’ll always be there for them.

The way I treat my loved ones nurtures and supports them.

I purposely build their confidence in themselves and avoid ever saying anything that berates them.

I respect them and their thoughts and ideas.

As a result, my spouse is happy and my children are growing into confident, joyful adults, making the same commitment to nurture their loved ones as well. It’s a never-ending cycle of love!

Today, I plan to spend some time with each member of my family and let my love shine through in my thoughts, words, and actions.

How can you show your love to your family in your everyday activities?

How have you included time in your schedule for family activities?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 23, 2019March 26, 2018

Love is a fire, but whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford

August 10, 2019March 26, 2018

Eight Simple Strategies to Motivate Your Children

Our children are one of the most important and precious people in our lives.

We want the best for them and hope they strive to do well in all things.

Children, just like adults, can develop motivational roadblocks that hold them back from achieving what they’re meant to do.

Since the inception of the Internet, television, video games, and social networking, motivating our children has gotten progressively more difficult.

To have them complete schoolwork, do some chores around the house, get more involved with school activities, or even just go outside to get some fresh air can be a struggle.

Here are some simple strategies you can use to help you motivate your children:

1. Praise your child for their accomplishments. When your child accomplishes something, no matter how big or small, be sure to express how proud you are of them.

If they know that they’ve made you happy, they’re more apt to strive to make that happen again.

2. Avoid focusing on the negative. We all make mistakes, so it’s much more productive not to harp on them.

You’ll receive much better results by focusing on what your child does well rather than the few mistakes they may make.

3. Show pride in your child’s work. Display a good grade or report card.

Placing their work on the refrigerator door, believe it or not, still works wonders!

When his accomplishments are proudly displayed, he’ll be motivated to achieve as much as he possibly can.

4. Brag. Call a grandparent, aunt, or uncle and tell them about your child’s recent accomplishment.

When your child sees that you take the time to make a special phone call because you’re so proud, it encourages them and boosts their confidence.

5. Use rewards. Every child likes to be rewarded for good work.

You can try things like a weekly allowance or a special treat, like a movie or ice cream, as a reward for good behavior.

Whatever the reward, children will strive to do their best to obtain these special treats.

This can be used for just about anything from a good grade to washing the family dog.

Children enjoy being able to receive something tangible for a job well done.

6. Show sincere enthusiasm in the things your child enjoys. As a child grows, his interests may change frequently.

As a parent, it’s important that you keep up with your child’s likes and dislikes.

7. Sit down and talk with your child. Find out why they’re interested in certain things and how you can help them with their activities.

If you show sincerity and really listen to what they’re telling you, it’ll be a big motivating factor.

8. Don’t overwhelm your child with goals. Naturally, we want our children to succeed, but sometimes we can overdo it.

After the homework, chores, and after-school activities, children deserve time to just be children.

If you give them some free time to do what they want, whether it be playing video games, watching television, or anything else they choose, it will keep them motivated to do other things as well.

Children are each a unique individual and have different interests and goals in life.

Though at times their motivation may waiver, we, as parents, will be there to point them in the right direction.

Using these motivation tips will make that process just a little bit easier!

When was the last time you spent time with your children?

How did you show them they are valued?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 9, 2019March 26, 2018

Attracting Positive Relationships Into Your Life

As we travel through our life’s journey, many relationships will come into our lives.

Some of them will be wonderful and long lasting; others, unfortunately, may be short term or unhappy.

Do you tend to attract more negative relationships than positive?

Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite.

Wouldn’t you love to attract more positive relationships?

The good news is, you can!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy more positive relationships in your life:

1. Patience. Wonderful relationships don’t occur overnight.

They take time to nurture and develop into something that’s long lasting.

To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don’t rush it.

You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

2. Believe that you’re deserving of it.

Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself.

Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately.

Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.

Remember, positive attracts positive.

When you think positive thoughts, you’ll be rewarded with positive results.

You’ll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you’re giving off to others.

So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

3. Be true to yourself and others. If you’re not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this.

Don’t try to be something that you’re not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well.

Show others your true self, including your flaws.

They’ll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.

Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality.

Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4. Don’t take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life.

They may not be as numerous as you’d like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

By professing your gratitude genuinely, you’ll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5. Be honest. If you’re in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life.

Be honest with yourself and others.

Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it.

Honesty will pave the way for more positive, trusting relationships to enter your life.

As the old saying goes, “Nothing worth having in life comes easily.”

Attracting positive relationships – and weeding out the negative ones – may not be an easy task, but it’ll make for a better and more fulfilling life.

How important are the relationships you have right now?

How are you showing these people they are valued?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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July 10, 2019March 25, 2018

I embrace my love and I keep it constant.

Because my love adds joy and meaning to my life, I embrace it and keep it constant.

I do not allow silly arguments to question our foundation.

I openly communicate with my partner about my thoughts, feelings, and frustrations.

I let go of the need to hurt my spouse or to prove myself right and, instead, focus on simply expressing how the situation made me feel.

I always aim for understanding, not revenge.

I recognize that there are always at least two points of view in any conflict, and I take the time to listen to the other side.

I have let go of the need to have the last word and I am satisfied if we both feel that we have been heard, even if we haven’t yet reached an amicable solution.

I make it a point to affirm my partner’s value.

I also show that I am trustworthy by who I choose to confide in when we are at odds.

I choose to avoid gossip and, instead, focus on achieving peace through positive solutions.

I let the little things go.

Life is far more important than the way we squeeze the toothpaste tube or where we throw our socks.

I invest in our relationship by allowing my partner to be quirky and human, just like me!

What is your goal when you are discussing issues with your partner?

How do you allow your partner to feel heard when you are in conflict?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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June 20, 2019March 23, 2018

How to Love Unconditionally

In order to build a solid foundation in any relationship, whether it’s a marriage, friendship or a relationship with a sibling or child, you must learn to love unconditionally without limits or judgment.

Loving someone unconditionally can be hard to do and goes against the grain you were probably taught in today’s Western society.

Society tells you to get even or get revenge.

However, to love unconditionally requires forgiveness and letting go of the wrongs.

So How Do You Love Unconditionally?

What’s required to show someone unconditional love when you’re in a relationship?

Being there physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, through thick and thin, no matter what may happen is unconditional love.

Physically: Being “there” for someone physically means just what the word implies.

You’re there for them in person, standing by their side, listening to them, or talking with them so they’re not alone.

This may be at three in the afternoon, or three in the morning!

Emotionally: When you’re with someone emotionally, you’re offering your support by allowing them to honestly and openly express their feeling.

Supporting someone emotionally with unconditional love also means that you’re there selflessly to help them work through their feelings.

The goal is for the person to rise above the negative emotions and turn them into positive ones. You’re the shoulder to cry on!

Mentally: Supporting a loved one mentally means that you help them think through their actions, motives, and desires.

You help them do this by finding out what’s going on inside.

To support someone mentally requires you to help your loved one process their thoughts through to all possible outcomes.

Spiritually: Spiritually supporting a loved one means you pray for and with them and help them grow in all aspects of their life – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Often spiritual support is given without a person being aware, through prayer.

Unconditional love does not mean, however, giving into every whim or desire.

Often people confuse unconditional love with spoiling.

Giving into a person’s every want or desire when it isn’t appropriate can actually harm their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being.

For example, giving into your kid’s demands for junk food may make them happy today, but it isn’t a good source of nourishment in the long run.

Letting Go

True love is shown when you try to help another become a better person and unconditional love is shown when you still love them even if they refuse to change.

Many times it’s necessary to “let go” of a loved one, while still loving them unconditionally, because they refuse to take the necessary steps to improve.

An example of this would be an alcoholic or drug addict.

You still love the person, but when they refuse to work at overcoming their addiction or don’t care about themselves or who they’re hurting, you must let go.

Sometimes this means, letting them spiral down until they hit rock bottom.

Often you get hurt in the process because you love them and don’t want to see them go down this road, so loving unconditionally also means that you’ll be there for them when they’re ready to try again.

Love isn’t an emotion or feeling – it’s a choice.

This is especially true with unconditional love.

In relationships, you show unconditional love by overlooking petty mistakes and forgoing judgment and grudges.

Unconditional love requires self-sacrifice and forgiveness on your part and it’s through unconditional love that those you care about will change for the better.

How important is love in your life?

How are you showing love to those that matter most in your life?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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June 7, 2019March 23, 2018

Building Rock-Solid Friendships

Friendships are one of the most important relationships we have as human beings.

Without friends, we would feel lonely, rejected, and left out.

Even in a marriage, we need friends outside of the relationship to fulfill our social needs or help us through difficult situations.

Building rock-solid friendships takes loyalty, trust, and honesty and it can’t happen overnight.

Most people have rock-solid friendships with only a couple of people or a handful at the most.

The truth is a friendship is about quality, not quantity.

Yes, you can have several friends, but most are merely casual friendships and don’t have that deep inner connection.

A good example of this is Jesus.

He had 12 disciples, but only three were considered as his closest companions, Peter, James, and John.

Jesus had companionship with all 12, but only three were truly close to him, like a best friend.

The Friendly Sacrifice

Being a true friend also requires sacrifice. In a rock-solid friendship, we may be asked to give up our desires for our friend’s needs.

Our friend may need us when it’s not so convenient for us, like in the middle of the night.

In a rock-solid friendship, this would involve sacrificing the comfort of a good night’s sleep in a nice, warm bed in order to be there for our friend.

But that’s what friends do!

Give and Take

In a rock-solid friendship, there is both give and take. There are mutual feelings between the parties and it’s never one-sided.

That doesn’t mean that there won’t be conflicts because we’re human, after all.

However, when there is a conflict between two very close friends, the struggles usually don’t last long because there is forgiveness, understanding, and communication.

Forgiveness means that you let go of any malice or grudges and you move forward at peace with one another.

Understanding comes from knowing your friend inside and out – knowing where they’re coming from and knowing what they’re going through.

Communication means that you connect with your friend with an overall understanding of his or her relating style.

When a friendship is truly rock-solid, the parties are real with each other; there are no facades, no masks and no secrets.

There is trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty, however, and this comes only as a friendship grows.

How to Connect With a New Friend

You may have stumbled upon someone new by chance or through friends and if there is enough common interest, you may decide to meet again.

Sounds pretty obvious, right?

With each encounter you have, your relationship grows and strengthens.

Then as you continue to get to know one another, the communication gets easier and you become more comfortable with each other.

The key here is that it can’t happen overnight.

If you try to force it, you may make the other person feel uncomfortable and threatened, so go at a smooth and steady pace.

Showing Your True Colors

As the friendship continues to blossom, casual friends build trust and loyalty through both the peaks and valleys of life.

However, it’s in the difficult times that a person’s true colors are revealed.

When you’re going through a tragedy, a personal crisis, or simply a rough patch, it is the rock-solid friends that are there to help lift you back up.

Friends Help Friends Grow

True friends help each other grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

A true friendship requires both unconditional love as well as tough love.

Building a rock-solid friendship takes time to achieve, but once you’re in a rock-solid friendship with someone, you will know who you can trust.

Neither distance, nor hard times can spoil a truly rock-solid friendship.

How important is friendship to you?

How are you showing your friends that you value them and all that they have done for you?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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