control – Personal Growth Cafe

November 15, 2019March 28, 2018

I can relinquish control to others.

I like letting others be in charge.

It saves me time, energy, and worry while allowing me to happily go about my day, doing my best by controlling only myself!

Even if I have the ultimate responsibility for the outcome of something, I can delegate individual tasks to others.

I release the tendency to control any aspect of how the tasks are done, as long as they are completed effectively.

Everyone has their own unique way of doing things and I appreciate our differences.

Letting others have control over their own assigned tasks results in better quality work.

We work better together when I don’t try to control everything.

This is true both at work and home.

At work, my co-workers are more motivated when they know they share control.

At home, releasing my control over many of the household tasks to my children allows them to feel needed and learn responsibility.

When I let go of having to control everything, it frees me!

A heavy burden is lifted from my shoulders and I am able to go with the flow and just enjoy life!

As I release the need for control, I can feel stress and worry float away with it.

I am happier and at peace when I let go.

Today, I choose to let go of any desire to control other people or events, focusing on the joyful simplicity of life when I only need to control myself.

What tasks can you delegate to others to free up some of your time?

How do you allow your children to be in control of their own responsibilities?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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November 12, 2019March 27, 2018

I love and accept that there are some situations that I cannot control.

I let go of my tendency to try to be in control of everything.

What a relief it is!

No longer do I have to be responsible for everything.

It is much easier to focus on what I can control, instead of worrying about the things I cannot control anyway!

What can I control?

I can control my own thoughts and actions.

I can control how I react to events.

And I can control my expectations.

When I focus on what I can control, I find that I become more effective.

Instead of fretting over a challenge, I seek solutions and take action on my decisions.

Instead of worrying about what others will think, I live true to my own morals, ethics, and beliefs.

In being true to myself, I strengthen my self-esteem.

Rather than bemoan a situation, I take whatever action I can to make things better.

Taking decisive action reduces my stress about the situation and gives me hope for a better day ahead.

I accept that I cannot control the actions of others and I prefer it that way.

Truly, how complicated life would be if I had the responsibility of controlling and directing everyone!

Simply letting go of the need to control takes the weight of the world off my shoulders.

Today, I plan to accept whatever the day brings, do what I can where I can, and let the rest go!

How can taking decisive action reduce your stress about a current challenge?

What can you do to let go of something out of your control?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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November 8, 2019March 27, 2018

I relinquish control of the need to do everything.

I let go of the thought that everything depends on me, and freely pass on the responsibility to others.

When I do, I feel a heavy burden lifted from my shoulders.

At home, I let my children handle some of the chores.

This teaches them responsibility and lets them feel like an integral part of the family.

I let my spouse handle whatever he will and am pleased with the outcome of our teamwork.

At work, I delegate tasks efficiently by letting those best qualified for the task to lend a helping hand.

This gives me more time to focus on the tasks that I must do myself.

As a result, we work as a team on the job, output higher quality work, and I do not have to do it all myself.

I know that most of the time someone else will not do a task in the exact same way I would, but that does not mean that the results are sub-par.

In fact, I find that if I back off and let them be in control of their delegated task, they produce fine work.

Letting go of the need to do everything gives me more time to do what I really want to do.

I can take the time to relax and take better care of myself.

I can rejuvenate my energy and focus on the things that are important to me.

Today, I am free of the stress that comes with trying to do everything myself.

I happily let my spouse, children and co-workers take on what they can, knowing that all will be well.

How strong is your need to do everything yourself?

What chores can you assign to your children instead of doing them yourself?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 1, 2019March 27, 2018

You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence. – Robert Frost

May 18, 2019March 16, 2018

I acknowledge that I cannot control others. I can only control myself.

I release the tendency to try to control the thoughts, opinions, or actions of other people and focus, instead, on self-improvement.

After all, there is only one person I have power over: myself!

Of course, I like it when people think well of me, but I let go of worrying about what they might think.

It’s a waste of my time and energy and causes me undue stress.

I know I do my best and that is all I can do. I accept this and am okay with it.

When I live by the Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – and remain true to myself, I am confident most people will think highly of me.

If they do not, I refuse to let it bother me, since I cannot control them anyway.

I like knowing that I am in control of my own thoughts, behaviors, and actions.

It sure takes the burden off my shoulders to know that the only person I need to control is me.

What an uplifting revelation!

I have gratitude to bring me joy.

I have a passion for life that enables me to enjoy every minute of every day by simply living in the moment.

I have affirmations to replace negative thoughts and attitudes with the positive ones I deserve.

This tool allows me all the self-improvement I could ever desire.

Armed with my tools and my understanding of how I can shape my world, I go forth confident of success.

Today, I choose to live every moment true to myself, not worrying about what others might think.

What have your results been like when you’ve tried to control someone else?

What tools do you have that enable you to shape your surroundings?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 17, 2018February 15, 2018

Learning To Cope With Things Out of Our Control

At some point in your life, you’ve no doubt had to deal with a situation that was out of your control.

Whether it’s a car accident, financial difficulties, or other challenge, these events cause stress and frustration, which negatively impact your health and mental outlook on life.

Learning how to cope with events you can’t control will help keep you in a positive frame of mind and alleviate your stress.

Consider the Serenity Prayer, written by Reinhold Niebuhr:

“God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.”

The words of this prayer exemplify the solution to a problem that plagues all of us.

Once you’ve come to terms with the fact that you can control only your own actions (and reactions), you can begin to find peace of mind.

What Can You Control?

Worrying about the people or events in your life that you can’t control can cause all kinds of stress-related health problems, such as angina, high blood pressure, and sleeping difficulties.

If you need to feel more in control of your life, focus on those things that you can physically change.

Who you decide to accept as your friends and spend your time with is something you can definitely control.

It may not be easy to meet new friends, but the opportunities are plentiful if you look for them.

Being around negative people can drag your attitude down, since you adopt the mood of people around you.

If you have people in your life who aren’t encouraging you to fulfill your potential, find other people to surround yourself with.

Having the support of people who believe in you will propel you toward reaching your lifelong goals.

Live One Day at a Time

When you intentionally consider each day a gift, your struggles don’t seem as dire.

While life does deal some bad hands, such as death, divorce, and financial challenges, how you cope during these hardships can make you stronger or break you.

When you purposely feel gratitude for the good moments within each day, you can genuinely start to accept your struggles as a path to a new beginning.

Coping with Financial Difficulties

One of the most stressful situations is coping with financial difficulties.

Loss of a job often means having to give up things you’ve worked hard to acquire.

If you’re having a difficult time accepting that you have to cut expenses and give up the comfortable things in life, even temporarily, it helps to remember that it could be worse.

Be grateful for having your home and your health because there are many people in the world who have neither.

Once you know you can be happy with less, you can focus again on achieving your goals.

By accepting that you can’t change some things, you’ll become more powerful in changing the things that you do have control over.

You’ll free yourself from the negative thoughts and emotions that can stifle you into sad complacence.

Use these tips to help you cope with things out of your control, and you’ll find peace, joy, and the passion to persevere through all challenges.

What do you do when you experience things that are out of your control?

How can you learn from them?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 17, 2018January 15, 2018

I am relinquishing control over the uncontrollable.

When I am in one of life’s low valleys, I am comforted by positive thoughts. I am human and I am not expected to have all the answers.

That loving piece of reality brings me such comfort that I can smile in the midst of shadows.

I am not in control of everything because there are things beyond my control. And that’s okay.

I am responsible for those things that I can manage, but I am quick to let go of the things that I cannot influence.

In order to save myself from anxiety, I do not hold on to things that I cannot control.

I try my hardest with what I can control. I set fair expectations for myself. I am diligent. I am hardworking, yet I can admit my limitations.

When I identify things in my life that are uncontrollable, I let go of them quickly.

I do not waste time trying to handle things that are impossibly out of my reach. I am happy to relinquish control because my ego and pride are in check.

When I have to acknowledge my lack of control, I do not feel guilt. By letting go of control, I make room for miracles.

In situations where I am unsure of what to do, I seek help. If I see that there is nothing else I can do, I pray, then I simply let go.

I relinquish control of all situations to a Higher Power. Where my strength ends, there is a greater strength that carries me forward.

When my abilities run thin, there is the power of miracles.

What are some things that you need to give up?

How can you free yourself from undue pressures?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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December 17, 2017

I relax to get my mind off the things I cannot control.

September 18, 2017October 10, 2017

Coping with Past Conflicts

Conflict is never an easy thing to deal with, but old, deeply rooted conflicts can really affect your body, mind and spirit. When you allow a past conflict to stew and become a defining part of a relationship, it can be challenging to move forward, but it’s not impossible, it’s just a matter of taking the right conflict resolution approach.

Look at the Conflict with an Open Heart and Mind

Many times a past conflict can be resolved by simply looking at it with a fresh, calm perspective. When you learn how to look at a past conflict without raising your blood pressure or losing sleep, you’ll be much more likely to find an amicable resolution.

The first thing you should do is look at the conflict objectively. You need to raise all of the issues on your mind, but you must always be respectful. Actively listen to the other person, then ask that they do the same for you. Remember to focus on the problem, not the person because personal attacks have never solved anything! If you’re having a difficult time communicating, a third-party can help mediate the discussion so that all parties are equally heard.

Use your mutual interests and concerns as a starting point. For example, if you were fighting with a sibling over a parent’s estate, perhaps you were both trying to ensure that the estate was as fair and balanced as possible. Go forward from this point so that you start at a place where you both agree.

Brainstorm resolutions that everyone can agree on. Conflict usually occurs when one or both parties sense inequality, so get together and brainstorm ideas that will help you resolve the conflict. You may find that you are actually building on one another’s ideas. That’s a good thing! The goal is to come to a resolution that provides mutual gain.

Create standards of how things will be going forward and create all of your agreements surrounding these standards. This will help to ensure that you don’t have the same obstacles in the future. By setting specific standards, everyone will be able to communicate in the most respectful and effective manner moving forward.

Accept What You Cannot Change

We all hear that we should accept the things that we cannot change, but this is easier said than done. When it comes to past conflicts you should always seek to resolve them first. If you cannot, it’s time to accept the things that you cannot change.

Give up control. When you give up trying to control what is uncontrollable suddenly the stress of dealing with the conflict dissolves. You will feel like a mountain has been lifted off of your shoulders and you may find that you have a whole new look on life as well as the conflict and the person or people involved with it.

Share what you feel. When you are feeling angry, hurt or upset, try sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. It’s easier to move past conflicts when you have sounding boards at your disposal. You don’t necessarily have to talk to someone who was involved in the conflict, just share your feelings openly and honestly. By getting it out of your mind and off your chest, you’re able to find peace within your heart.

Look for the positives. There are always positive things that come from every situation, even the bitterest of all conflicts. For example, you may have realized the importance of communication, interpersonal relationships, or forgiveness. When you can find something positive about a past situation you’ll find that coping with conflict is much easier.

Focus on forgiveness. When you focus on forgiveness, the pain associated with conflict suddenly disappears. After all, we all make mistakes from time to time. When you realize that we live in an imperfect world it’ll be easier to let go of the hurt feelings and anger associated with the conflict.

How can thinking of past conflicts affect your life?

What can acceptance help you cope with these conflicts?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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