friendship – Personal Growth Cafe

June 7, 2019March 23, 2018

Building Rock-Solid Friendships

Friendships are one of the most important relationships we have as human beings.

Without friends, we would feel lonely, rejected, and left out.

Even in a marriage, we need friends outside of the relationship to fulfill our social needs or help us through difficult situations.

Building rock-solid friendships takes loyalty, trust, and honesty and it can’t happen overnight.

Most people have rock-solid friendships with only a couple of people or a handful at the most.

The truth is a friendship is about quality, not quantity.

Yes, you can have several friends, but most are merely casual friendships and don’t have that deep inner connection.

A good example of this is Jesus.

He had 12 disciples, but only three were considered as his closest companions, Peter, James, and John.

Jesus had companionship with all 12, but only three were truly close to him, like a best friend.

The Friendly Sacrifice

Being a true friend also requires sacrifice. In a rock-solid friendship, we may be asked to give up our desires for our friend’s needs.

Our friend may need us when it’s not so convenient for us, like in the middle of the night.

In a rock-solid friendship, this would involve sacrificing the comfort of a good night’s sleep in a nice, warm bed in order to be there for our friend.

But that’s what friends do!

Give and Take

In a rock-solid friendship, there is both give and take. There are mutual feelings between the parties and it’s never one-sided.

That doesn’t mean that there won’t be conflicts because we’re human, after all.

However, when there is a conflict between two very close friends, the struggles usually don’t last long because there is forgiveness, understanding, and communication.

Forgiveness means that you let go of any malice or grudges and you move forward at peace with one another.

Understanding comes from knowing your friend inside and out – knowing where they’re coming from and knowing what they’re going through.

Communication means that you connect with your friend with an overall understanding of his or her relating style.

When a friendship is truly rock-solid, the parties are real with each other; there are no facades, no masks and no secrets.

There is trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty, however, and this comes only as a friendship grows.

How to Connect With a New Friend

You may have stumbled upon someone new by chance or through friends and if there is enough common interest, you may decide to meet again.

Sounds pretty obvious, right?

With each encounter you have, your relationship grows and strengthens.

Then as you continue to get to know one another, the communication gets easier and you become more comfortable with each other.

The key here is that it can’t happen overnight.

If you try to force it, you may make the other person feel uncomfortable and threatened, so go at a smooth and steady pace.

Showing Your True Colors

As the friendship continues to blossom, casual friends build trust and loyalty through both the peaks and valleys of life.

However, it’s in the difficult times that a person’s true colors are revealed.

When you’re going through a tragedy, a personal crisis, or simply a rough patch, it is the rock-solid friends that are there to help lift you back up.

Friends Help Friends Grow

True friends help each other grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

A true friendship requires both unconditional love as well as tough love.

Building a rock-solid friendship takes time to achieve, but once you’re in a rock-solid friendship with someone, you will know who you can trust.

Neither distance, nor hard times can spoil a truly rock-solid friendship.

How important is friendship to you?

How are you showing your friends that you value them and all that they have done for you?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Also, as your gift for taking this to heart – and this is profoundly important… to us ALL – go to UnitingPlanetEarth.com/ignition/ and do the Uniting Planet Earth 7-Day Quick-Start Ignition Program… and Allow it to Transform Your Life.

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February 27, 2019March 13, 2018

True friendship brings sunshine to the shade, and shade to the sunshine. – Thomas Burke

June 14, 2012June 18, 2012

How to be a Great Friend

Although you’ve most likely created good social relationships over the years, brushing up on your friendship skills can benefit you. Having close friends gives you someone to turn to when you’re feeling lonely, need a listening ear, or want someone to celebrate with you.

If you’ve ever had a really great friend, you’ve noticed all the things they did with you, for you, and on your behalf.

Whether you’re learning to be that kind of a friend yourself or you just want to polish up your “good friend” skills, these ideas will help you establish and maintain positive, fulfilling friendships.

Be a good listener. Everyone has times when they just want to vent feelings. When you make the decision to listen rather than offer feedback or suggestions, you’re practicing one of the most important behaviors a good friend can do. Keep your ears and mind open.
Support first. Truth, trust and honesty are most surely the cornerstones of any healthy friendship. However, there are times when honesty is less helpful than providing emotional support. Let your friend know you’re there for him and that he can call you at any time.
Honor your commitments. Have you ever had a friend who sometimes didn’t show up or showed up 45 minutes late? Be someone your friend can count on. Be dependable and predictable in your friendship. Doing so will ensure you’ll never have a shortage of people who care for you.
Spend time together.Make time for you friend: do something fun, have dinner, paint the living room, work on the car, or just hang out. A good friend wants to betogether and makes time in a busy schedule to do it. Be creative in the planning of activities and you’ll make great memories.
Avoid offering criticism. Providing criticism to someone you care about rarely turns out well. Even though you might have formed an opinion on something your friend said or did, it’s probably best to refrain from telling him of his errors.

In the event he asks you directly for feedback on a situation where you believe he made a mistake, choose your words very carefully. Acknowledging, “I might have done it another way” sounds less critical and more helpful than, “You shouldn’t have done it that way.”

Keep your friends’ affairs confidential. Although this is an obvious point, it is often the most difficult to put into practice. Under no circumstance should you reveal anything about your friend to others who ask, even if one friend puts you on the spot regarding another.
Avoid dumping all your life’s challenges on your friends. Although confiding in your friends is important, refrain from using them only for venting about your own negative feelings and situations.

Moderate your conversations so the friendship doesn’t get too bogged down with frustrating or negative energy. Let them know, “For 20 minutes I’m going to talk about my frustrations with work; then let’s go have some fun.”Respect the time limit you set to discuss your gripes.

Being a great friend will bring you moments of joy, years of comfort, and decades of cherished memories. Implement these strategies in your relationships today. You’ll feel like you’re the best friend ever and those you care about will think so, too!

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