Negative – Personal Growth Cafe

August 26, 2018January 31, 2018

Combating Negative Thinking with Positive Self-Talk

Do you talk yourself out of being excited and hopeful every time you feel good about yourself?

Do you often start out feeling confident in yourself and your abilities, and then drop to zero confidence when your inner dialogue kicks in?

This negative thinking is something many people struggle with, but there’s a better way.

You can combat negative thoughts with positive-self talk instead of letting an automatic negative thought process rule your life.

Negative Thinking, Positive Self-Talk, and You

Many people lack the confidence to realize that they deserve to feel good about themselves.

These people never pay attention to the fact that they are the ones telling themselves that they don’t deserve rewards.

Are you one of these people?

You can discover if you are sabotaging yourself by tuning into your thoughts and listening.

What do you hear?

Are you encouraging yourself with positive thoughts?

Or are your thoughts filled with negatives?

You may not even realize how negative thinking may be dominating your life.

This may be something that you deal with daily and have come to see as normal.

However, it’s only normal if you allow it to be that way!

Positive self-talk is the practice of responding to negative thoughts that run through your mind.

For example, when you tell yourself that you can’t possibly land the job because you aren’t good enough, you can respond with positive thoughts that do not leave room for negativity.

These thoughts can be as simple or complex as you like. The important thing is that you continue to think positively.

Positive self-talk allows you to be the one controlling your thoughts!

Many people pair positive self-talk with affirmations.

Affirmations are simple statements you can repeat to yourself over and over again.

You can allow these thoughts to become true for you.

The process is as subconscious as it is conscious.

When you continue to reaffirm the positive thought, you will make it true for yourself until you eventually don’t need to remind yourself to think that way.

Affirmations are positive statements that replace your negative thought processes.

You can change your life one thought at a time!

When you are feeling low and thinking negatively about yourself or your future, try saying, “I give myself permission to be successful,” or “I see myself in the winner’s circle.”

Strive to replace your negative statements with positive thoughts when you repeat your affirmations.

Soon it will become second nature to repeat your affirmations anytime that you start to think negatively.

With positive self-talk you can truly change the course of your life.

You can go from being a negative person with no hope for the future, to being an optimist who can achieve anything you put you mind to.

Does this mean that there won’t be challenges along the way, or that you’ll never fail?

No, because those things are a part of life.

But what it will mean is that you’ll have a better attitude, which will allow you to grasp the very best that life has to offer.

Positive self-talk isn’t difficult and it’s worth the effort that is involved because it can truly change the way you view yourself and the world that you live in.

How has positive thoughts helped you feel better?

What helps you stay positive?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 21, 2018January 31, 2018

How to Avoid Negative People

There’s an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.”

The reasoning behind this is that we tend to become like the people we hang out with.

If you’re around “cannot, should not, and do not” people, then you’ll constantly be discouraged and depressed.

Instead, surround yourself with visionaries and those who can inspire and motivate you so you can, should, and do take action.

Following your intuition can be an effective way of weeding out negative people early on upon meeting them.

Here are some body language signs to look out for when you meet new people:

A sick or uncomfortable feeling forms in the pit of your stomach.

The hair on the back of your neck stands on end.

Your skin crawls and you feel jumpy and adverse to touch.

Your shoulder muscles knot up and your throat and chest constrict.

You feel a sense of pressure, agitation, or darkness.

You feel physically, mentally, or emotionally drained after meeting the individual.

These symptoms may be your body’s way of telling you to stay clear of this person.

You may leave their presence feeling depressed and discouraged because all you’ve heard is complaining.

Naturally, this sucks the energy right out of you, but you can learn to read these signs early on and you’ll save yourself from becoming involved with a negative person.

These people are toxic and will poison your mind with their negativity.

Seek Out People with Positive Attitudes

Sometimes you can tell someone is positive just by their outward appearance or the way they conduct themselves.

Walking confidently with their head up or even smiling are signs that a person is in a positive mood.

Some other signs of a positive person are more intuitive, such as:

You get a feeling of familiarity – as if you’ve known the person forever.

You feel relaxed, calm, and safe.

You breathe easier.

You lean forward instead of crossing your arms defensively and withdrawing.

You’re at ease with the other person’s touch (hug, handshake, etc.).

You leave their presence feeling energized and alive.

Just as negative people put out a negative energy, positive people have positive energy.

These people are nourishing and supportive.

Your body can pick up on this and warn you or encourage you depending on the situation.

How do we go about finding these positive people we wish to associate with?

Much of the above responses are simply felt in our day-to-day associations.

However, there are proactive steps we can take to align ourselves with positive people:

Find a local community event, club, or group where people challenge themselves and encourage their members to be better people.

They will help you set goals for yourself and then achieve them.

Participate in online forums or organize your own positive mentoring group.

Sometimes it’s impossible to completely avoid certain negative people (perhaps a boss or family member), but you can limit your relationship with them and seek out positive role models elsewhere.

Utilize your positive support system to prevent the negative people in your life from getting the best of you.

Rely on your friends or family when you need to vent to get rid of your negative emotions.

The choices you make in life are yours alone.

It’s completely in your power to choose who you are friendly with and whether you want to live a happy life or be miserable.

If you feel too much negativity, take control of your life and make some changes to eliminate the negative sources.

This will likely take some time but making these changes will help improve your daily mood and remind you that good things are ahead.

How can negative people impact your life?

Why do you need to avoid negative people?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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May 22, 2018January 7, 2018

Five Ways to Deal with Negative People

No matter what our occupation, we all come in contact with negative, difficult people from time to time.

Our primal instinct is to fight back, defend ourselves, and react to their negativity with some of our own.

However, we are not animals who are led by instincts.

We are human beings with the ability to control our responses.

To fight anger with anger merely depletes our own energy and brings us down to the same level.

Why are people difficult?

When people act negatively, it’s a reflection of what’s going on inside them.

It’s not about you; it’s about them.

It may be a complicated, troubled past or something as simple as a bad day that makes a person angry.

People who are bored and unhappy with their own lives will seek out conflict to boost their egos.

Our ego then responds by thinking, “I have to be right.

If I don’t respond, I’m conceding defeat.”

Then we find ourselves engaged in a conflict that hurts us emotionally, mentally, and maybe even physically.

Ways to Deal with Difficult People

Here are some ways to deal with these difficult people.

They may not all be easy (heck, none of them are easy!), but they will give you some peace of mind that you’re doing the right thing.

Wait before responding. Our first instinct is to immediately react and retaliate.

However, reacting to another individual’s negativity usually only eggs them on.

You may even realize that a response is not even needed.

Maybe the other person was merely venting and needs to simply be ignored because the attack was not personal at all.

If you spend some time cooling off before you respond, you can gain perspective on the situation.

If necessary, remove yourself from the room when confronted with a difficult person.

Go for a walk outside or walk up a flight of stairs to vent your frustrations.

Stop rehashing the situation. This is especially a problem in office job situations where gossip spreads like wildfire.

There will always be someone ready to listen to bad things about another.

This is a waste of your time and energy. Drop the subject and move on.

The longer you dwell on the situation and talk about it with others, the more negative and angry you’ll become.

Take the high road and step away from those who are gossiping or speak up and tell others you don’t want to listen to it.

Express your feelings. If you simply need to get your emotions off your chest, try writing a letter.

Vent all your thoughts, feelings, and hurt onto the piece of paper. Let it all out until there’s nothing left to say.

Then crumple up the paper and throw it away. As you do, imagine your negative feelings being thrown away with it.

Don’t let your partner or spouse prevent you from speaking your mind. A true partnership is one in which the ideas and thoughts of each partner are heard.

Put yourself in their shoes. This can be very difficult, but study the individual who’s hurting you.

What’s going on his life right now?

Maybe he’s having family issues or a health crisis.

Try to look at the situation as an objective observer detached from the situation.

This can help give you some compassion for the difficult person in your life.

Prayer or meditation can help you stay calm and see a situation differently.

Consider the difficulties this other person might be facing in life and think about how you would handle a similar situation.

Respond positively. This may not always be possible and certainly won’t be easy.

After looking over the situation and trying to understand where the other person was coming from, find something positive to say about him.

Remember the phrase, “Kill ‘em with kindness”?

Very often responding calmly and with a friendly tone will diffuse a difficult situation.

Negative people are everywhere. Don’t let them take your happiness away or affect your mood.

Teach these difficult people by leading a good example, by responding calmly, and by showing kindness.

As a result, you’ll bring more happiness to others and find that you feel a greater happiness yourself.

How can negative people affect your mood?

What do you do when you are surrounded by negative people?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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December 29, 2017

Coping With Bad News

Let’s face the facts: life is full of both good and bad surprises.

You can’t live your life worried about bad news, otherwise you’ll paralyze yourself in fear.

Instead, you need to become more resilient and learn how to expect the unexpected.

You really can learn how to cope with unexpected news and become a stronger, more confident person in times of pressure.

Let’s go through some ways to make coping with the unexpected easier.

Expect the Unexpected

Have you ever gotten a call from a friend who cancels a get-together you were looking forward to?

This is an extremely trivial example of unexpected news, but it represents what we all deal with on a daily basis.

You may feel disappointed or frustrated, especially if you spent time preparing for the event, but you have two choices: move on and make the best of the day, or allow it to sour your mood and hold you back.

Ask yourself: what do you typically do when you encounter the unexpected?

Well, instead of allowing the change of plans to ruin your day, try to get your mind busy onto something else.

Is there a fun activity that you can do at home?

Is there something you can do for yourself or your family?

You can make the best of things by turning the unexpected into a new opportunity.

Build a Solid Support System

Another way to deal with unexpected news is to turn to your support system. Bad news can come with great pain.

If you get the news that someone has passed away, for example, this is something that is going to cause you deep pain and suffering.

Of course, it’s normal to feel these very real emotions.

In these times it is important for you to turn to those around you for support.

You may need someone to talk to, someone to cry with, or even a helping hand.

It’s crucial that surround yourself with positive influences instead of isolating yourself.

Using the Power of the Mind to Cope with Bad News

Positive affirmations are another way that you can cope with unexpected news.

Affirmations are concise statements that you can use to help you think in a more positive manner.

When bad news is overwhelming you and you don’t know how to cope, you can stop and say:

“In times of crisis, I am safe because I have a well thought out recovery plan waiting to be launched.”

“I challenge myself to be calm in order to release daily pressures.”

When you say these phrases aloud, you’re reaffirming the statement in your mind and you’re re-focusing your energy on solutions, instead of worries.

Whether you believe it or not, words have power.

Repeating these affirmations may console you and remind you about your strength during difficult situations.

When you use positive affirmations and the other coping techniques mentioned, you will find that you are more confident to deal with whatever life throws your way.

Remember, it’s okay to be afraid of uncertainty, but you can equip yourself with the tools, techniques, and support system to overcome any obstacle, challenge, or situation.

How do you face the challenges you encounter daily?

How can your attitude affect how you react to these experiences?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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July 18, 2012July 18, 2012

Letting Go of Conflict from Your Past

You can learn to let go of the conflict in your life. Everyone has things from their past they aren’t proud of. Perhaps you keep thinking about a situation and wonder how things might have been different. The reality is, wishing things were different isn’t doing you any good! Avoid letting past conflict hold you back.

Instead, release your concerns and focus on the present. Today is what matters and you can use today to make better days ahead. There are many techniques you can use to help you leave the past behind, and it’s good to experiment with different strategies until you find the one that’s right for you.

Release Your Negative Thoughts

Thinking negatively about yourself or past events isn’t productive. Even if you’ve made mistakes, you should see them as learning experiences that brought you to where you are today. They’re teaching moments, where you make a choice and learn from what happens next.

Avoid dwelling on your mistakes. It’s important to take the information you learned and put it to good use. When you find yourself thinking negatively about your past, try a tactic that makes you focus on the present.

Some ways to help you focus on the present include:

* Exercising to raise your endorphin level
* Helping someone else by volunteering or getting involved in the community
* Meditating, praying, or visualizing
* Using affirmations to realize what positive things you currently have in your life

Conquer Your Conflict

Thoughts have power, so make them work for you, not against you. When you look at your experiences in a positive light, you open the door for more positive energy and experiences to come your way. Maybe something happened that you didn’t like, but what did you learn from it? What good things came from it?

There is always good if you look for it.

Most people forget to look for the good that comes in all experiences, so make it a priority to seek joy in the things you’re doing today. You aren’t required to forget about the past, but you can move away from it. Living in memories is no longer necessary. Live in the present, and look toward the future. It’s much easier to see where you’re going that way!

Make corrections on your journey if you need to, but avoid going backwards. Moving forward, into a bright future and away from conflict, should be your focus. When disconcerting thoughts of the past appear, gently urge them away with thoughts of the future. Avoid letting that negative voice get to you, because it isn’t what’s true and real.

You know what’s really important, even if your thoughts sometimes try to tell you otherwise. By focusing on what matters to you in the here-and-now, and seeing how you can extend that into your fabulous future, it becomes easier to shed the conflict that comes from spending too much time in the past.

It’s not possible to change your past, but it is possible to live for today.

That’s something to remind yourself of each day. Why live with regret and conflict when there’s joy and beauty to be found? Live in the light of peace and joy each day, and focus your energies on what you can do to make things better for yourself and the world around you.

You’ll find that you have more happiness and that you also bring more happiness to others. When you’re looking into the past, it’s hard to see the great things on display in the future. By letting go of your past, you’re able to change your focus and outlook onto much brighter things!