It’s one thing to believe in yourself, which is an internal activity. However, if you don’t act on those beliefs, you’ll limit the amount of success and happiness you enjoy. Confidence begins inside and extends outward—into the actions you take in the world. As you’re now becoming super-confident, first, define confidence for yourself, because people define it differently. To some it may relate strictly to their work environment, being confident in how they perform their jobs or run their businesses. You want to exude confidence so you’re successful in work and make a good living.

For others, confidence may be more about their personal image and how they interact with others socially. Your super-confidence helps you attract and keep confident friends who appreciate you and relate on an equal basis… if you’re not their natural leader.

So decide what confidence means to you and then take stock of where you are and how you measure up to your definition. For example, if you notice that you feel like you believe in yourself and appear to be confident when you network at business meetings, yet you’re not seeing people run up to grab your business card, then determine what you could do to be more confident.

One great way to be super confident once you’ve defined it is to emulate another super-confident person. Whether or not you interact with them or ask them to coach or mentor you, at least you can copy their confidence. Notice how they dress, how they walk, how they shake hands, how they look people in the eyes, how they speak, what they say.

Another way to build confidence is to study how you are when you do something you’re naturally confident at. Suppose you’re a naturally confident writer, yet you want to overcome the fear of public speaking so you can better promote your books. What makes you confident as a writer? You might notice that you have a knack for writing in a way that speaks directly to the reader. How do you do that? How can you do that when you’re speaking in front of an audience?

An additional confidence booster is to ask for feedback from a trusted friend or associate. If you’re building your confidence to speak to strangers in social situations, take a friend with you and ask him or her to give you feedback after you’ve had some encounters. It helps if the friend is confident in social situations.

Confidence training can also include finding ways to stretch beyond your typical comfort zone, in other words, “Feel the fear and do it anyway!” Take baby steps. If you want to speak to groups, start with a few people in your living room. Then talk to a small group at a local library and keep building from there. When people tell me how much value they received from hearing my talk, it zooms my confidence to the top of the charts. And if I get no feedback or people are walking out early, it’s time to see what can be improved. Is it the right subject matter, the right audience, passion for the information, the way it’s presented…? Keep doing what you’re doing with minor adjustments each time and notice how your confidence keeps growing.

With this un-ending commitment, tomorrow can be the first day you woke up super-confident!

People with lower self-esteem tend to fit it difficult to believe in themselves when it seems no one else does. People generally derive feedback from how we’re perceived by others. When that feedback is negative—or worse non-existent—many tend to doubt themselves.

“I thought I was confident when I presented myself at that meeting,” you might think. Then when nobody approaches you to ask more about your business, you start to wonder. Do others not believe me when I say I’m an excellent financial planner? Or massage therapist? Or executive coach?

Or you might get dressed up and go out to a singles’ party. You took the time to buy a new outfit, get your haircut, and lose a few pounds. You say your affirmations before you leave the house: “I’m lovable and (women/men) are attracted to me.” And after the event is over, you can’t figure out why no one seemed to want to talk with you.

Have you ever heard of the mirror effect? That means that when someone says something to you, they may be reflecting back what they’re experiencing IN you. That is, some of the person’s feedback is their own “stuff”, while some is a reflection on your energy.

So if you’re doubting yourself when you go to the party and you start comparing yourself to others—“He’s much better looking than me” or “She’s got a great dress that puts mine to shame”—then the energy you put out is what others pick up on and that’s the feedback they present.

I know this may be hard to take in. A lot of people don’t like to hear that they’re putting out negativity, fear, lack of confidence, etc. They may smile, feel good about themselves, and then not get the results they want or expect. However, when you take full responsibility for the results you get in your life, you’ll experience great freedom. WHY? Because you can change anything that’s not working!

That means when it seems others don’t believe in you, you can begin by believing in yourself. Take an honest appraisal of how you really feel about yourself. Do you truly believe you’re worthy of love? Do you actually feel you deserve to attract clients and prosper in your business? I’m sure you’re thinking, “YES, I DO!” And I would agree many of us do believe that we do believe in ourselves.

However, all I can say is we live in a reflective world where what you put out is what you get back. So if it seems no one else is believing in you, your job is to do what it takes to believe in yourself. And I’ll tell you what—believing in yourself provides great benefits beyond doing it for others. You will feel amazing when you fully believe in yourself. You’ll naturally walk through the world with great ease and confidence—and it won’t matter if anyone else believes in you, because the most important person in your world does! YOU! And just like that, you’ll see positive reflections in others.

Have you ever wondered if there’s a right person for everyone—especially you? If you’re like other singles, you’ve probably asked yourself this question a lot. Perhaps you’ve had love and lost. You’ve been married and divorced. Or you’ve been single your whole life.

 As we grow older, especially past 40, many singles, whether divorced or never married, ask this question with more and more doubt. Some of them may erroneously believe there seems to be fewer opportunities to find love. You most likely found it easier to meet potential partners when you were younger: in school, in jobs, in your neighborhood, or through friends. There appeared to be no shortage of the “right person” available. And you may have connected with some partners, but unfortunately, for whatever reasons, it didn’t last.

 I once heard someone say, “If you can’t find Mr. Right, how about Mr. Right Now?” Or the song that says, “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” That’s fine if you’re not looking for long-lasting love and you’re happy to live—and love—in the moment. And this scenario is perfect for many people. Because you may have noticed that the longer you’ve been single, the harder it is to consider being with someone on a regular basis. You’re set in your ways, you enjoy your freedom, and you have no one to have to compromise with. So being with Mr. or Ms. Right Now is OK for you.

However, if you have your heart set on finding the right person long-term, then you need to ask this question: “Am I the right person?” What I mean by that is, are you the right person for someone else, that someone who’s also looking for the right person? And truthfully, the only way to be the right person for someone is to be the right person for you!

So the question you should be asking instead of “Will I ever find the right person for me?” is “Am I the right person for me?” To explore this further, take stock of your assets and liabilities—no, not the financial ones, although that’s part of the picture, but the personal ones. Can you assemble a personal balance sheet?

 For example, your asset side could include: I’m attractive, friendly, generous, helpful, talented, and curious; while your liabilities might include: I’m a procrastinator, I’m often late, I don’t always keep my commitments, I don’t finish what I start, and I’m disorganized at home. Then consider whether you want to improve upon or eliminate any of these traits. Would they be appealing to the person you imagine is right for you? Are you happy with these characteristics?

 To find the right person for you think about embarking on the journey of becoming the right person—for you and for that someone who will be attracted to you because you’re attracted to yourself. The love of your life is YOU—at least for now!

Did you know that you are a master manifester? That means that you’re the creator of your life experience. You create or manifest your life through your thoughts, words, and actions—and most importantly through your feelings.

 If you’re new to this philosophy, you might remember the great impact the movie “The Secret” had several years ago bringing the so-called “secrets” of manifestation to the masses. Many people embraced these ideas; however, many also met with great frustration in not being able to manifest everything they desired.

 Although Napoleon Hill may have said, “Desire is the starting point of all achievement,” it’s not the end point. He also said, “What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” All that’s true, and for most of us we can create fierce desire for what we want; we can conceive in our imagination our fondest hopes; and many of us can believe we can have what we want—although belief is sometimes a stopping point for us.

 Yet, why do countless lost souls wander around in lives of quiet desperation wishing, hoping, praying, journaling, and doing all the “things” they’re supposed to do to manifest their dreams?

 If you examine Napoleon Hill’s quote about the mind, you can see that he leaves out the heart. What “The Secret” didn’t explain is that the real secret is that we have to power our thoughts, words, and actions with feelings. Feelings are the fuel of manifestation.

 Close your eyes for a minute and visualize in detail a scene where you were happy. Now put yourself into the scene and feel the feelings; notice the shift in your energy. Tony Robbins, another teacher of manifesting principles, talks about changing one’s state. So if you’re feeling sad, you can change your state to happiness by moving your body, feeling the feelings, and recreating the state of happiness.

 Many other teachers like Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, and Louise Hay have all advised seekers about the power of feelings. Abraham-Hicks say in The Law of Attraction that every thought you think has magnetic attracting potential, but the thoughts in combination with the feeling of a strong emotion are the most powerful.

 Another teacher, John Assaraf, in The Answer provides scientific evidence that reveals the power of thoughts and feelings. Science has proven that everything is composed of energy and is inter-related. Therefore, your thoughts fueled by the force of feelings have energy to affect the material world and the power to attract what you desire.

 If you want to be an effective manifester, take the time to study more about the law of attraction. Find the method that works best for you to attract what you desire. If you journal or say affirmations, use powerful adjectives like “enthusiastic”, “thrilled”, and “grateful” to energize your feelings. For example, you might say, “I’m thrilled with the success of my new business. I’m so grateful that I get to assist many people.” Then close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, feel the feelings, and visualize the outcome you desire. Welcome to the wonderful world of manifestation!