Personal Growth Cafe

Ask any couple that’s been married for ten years or more and they’ll tell you how important trust is in their relationship.

In fact, trust is probably one of the most important aspects of any relationship.

If you need to establish or re-establish trust in your relationship, there are proven techniques you can use to make it happen.

Trust, in its simplest definition, is creating a place where another person feels emotionally safe.

They know they can tell you their deepest secrets without fear that you’ll share them with others.

They can be themselves with you and know that you’ll still love them.

For Couples in a Long Term Relationship

What can you do to build a more trusting relationship with your partner?

The answers may surprise you:

1. Make improving your communication skills one of your top priorities.

Learn how to be a good listener.

This means you don’t interrupt your partner while they’re talking unless there’s an emergency.

Work extra hard at ensuring you understand what your partner has said.

2. Use “I” statements rather than “you”

Say “I feel…” rather than “You make me feel…” This will help convey your feelings instead of attacking your partner.

“You” statements are nearly always taken as a personal attack.

This may not be your intent, but it’s almost always the result.

3. Act and speak positively about your partner, especially in front of other people.

It’s easier to trust someone who speaks well of you.

Conversely, if someone speaks about you in a nasty way, you’re likely to distrust them.

If you have something negative to say, try to say at least five positive statements prior to making the negative statement.

4. Don’t go to bed angry.

This may be one of the best pieces of advice for any married couple or people in a long-term relationship.

Instead of going to bed upset and getting up the next day still angry, do whatever you can to resolve any issue that could strain your relationship.

This means you’ll need to have good problem solving skills but they can be learned. It just takes practice.

For Couples Just Starting To Date

You can do a lot to build a trusting relationship when you first begin dating. 

These tips will help:

1. Make dates and arrive on time.

If you have to arrive later than planned, call your partner to let them know you’ll be late.

This helps your partner learn that you’re true to your word.

2. If you’ve promised to do something, follow through with it.

Of course, there may be circumstances that keep you from following through.

Be sure to call your partner if something happens so they’ll be aware of the change in plans.

3. Men, don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside.

One way to earn the trust of women is to express your feelings.

Being open and transparent is a better choice and will help establish and build your partner’s trust in you.

There are some things you may want to keep to yourself.

For example, if you see someone attractive walking down the street, you may not want to tell your partner.

In fact, the better course of action would be to keep your eyes on your partner and pay special attention to what they’re saying.

Trust is so important in relationships.

Use the ideas above to work at building trust between you and your partner.

It takes time to build and maintain a trusting relationship, but the benefits are more than worth it!

When was the last time you went on a date with your husband?

What is the most worthwhile activity you do as a couple?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Also, as your gift for taking this to heart – and this is profoundly important… to us ALL – go to UnitingPlanetEarth.com/ignition/ and do the Uniting Planet Earth 7-Day Quick-Start Ignition Program… and Allow it to Transform Your Life.

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!

When you’re just starting in a new relationship, you have so much to talk about!

You may find that you share many of the same hopes and dreams for the future.

As the relationship grows, you want to be sure you’re building a rock-solid foundation on which to base your relationship.

Having that solid foundation will help your relationship weather the storms of life and bring you joy together.

In the past it wasn’t unusual for couples to stay married to the same person for their entire adult life.

It was expected that you would only have one spouse unless death took them away.

It was also expected that couples would buy a home and remain in that community to raise their children.

Commitment and community stability were two of the mainstays of the solid foundation marriages were built upon.

Modern Marriages

In today’s global economy, you’re no longer expected to stay in your same community your entire life.

You may, instead, travel the country or the world during your professional career.

However, you can still have a committed marriage that grows stronger as the years pass.

Unfortunately though, it seems that people today are afraid of true commitment.

Instead of entering a marriage with the intention to stick around no matter what, many people go into marriage with the idea that, “I can always get a divorce if things don’t work out.”

Having that idea, even if it’s not a conscious thought, makes leaving much easier when the going gets tough.

The road to a committed marriage with a rock-solid foundation is a journey based upon a familiar road map.

A couple must decide if they’re willing to make the journey together regardless of where the road may lead.

Here are the normal stops along the way:

1. Romantic love is the easiest form of love.

In fact, it’s nearly effortless. This love truly is blind.

Each person believes the other is perfect and that their love can withstand any stresses that may come.

This period generally lasts about two years but can change as early as six months.

After the blinders come off, the couple begins to realize their beloved isn’t as perfect as they thought.

There may also be a small hiccup in their relationship as adjustments are made. This is where the real relationship begins.

A power struggle usually ensues after each partner realizes they must adjust some of their dreams for reality.

At this point one or both may decide to leave the relationship.

However, if they can stand together during this time, the relationship has a good chance of beating the odds. 

This is a crucial time of learning to solve problems, negotiating to get what they want, and resolving conflicts.

2. Re-evaluation.

Next comes a point where each one re-evaluates their relationship.

They turn to friends and family to get confirmation that they weren’t foolish after all.

An affair is more likely now than at nearly any other point of a relationship.

They must hold fast to their commitment and re-learn who they are as individuals.

3. Together again.

There is a drawing together again from this point.

They may still have conflicts and differences, but each one is more giving and forgiving where needed.

They’ve weathered some storms and are ready for the next stop.

This is the end of the road for building a rock-solid foundation.

They’ve learned to express their own needs while looking out for the needs of their partner.

No one expects the other to meet their every need, and there is a balance of being individuals as well as a couple. 

They can now meet any storm head on and come out standing together with the foundation intact.

From this point forward, their love and commitment only grows stronger.

On top of the foundation of love and commitment, there needs to be trust, conscious attention to your partner, and mutual respect.

With these building blocks placed upon a solid foundation, your relationship will always be strong.

Remember this road map in your journey with your loved one, build a rock-solid foundation, and enjoy true love for life.

How important is your spouse to you?

What can you do to make him/her feel your love?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Also, as your gift for taking this to heart – and this is profoundly important… to us ALL – go to UnitingPlanetEarth.com/ignition/ and do the Uniting Planet Earth 7-Day Quick-Start Ignition Program… and Allow it to Transform Your Life.

Before you leave…

Please share the link to this post on your Facebook, Twitter, etc., and like it, and comment right here – THANKS!