Personal Growth Cafe – Page 89 – Empowering You to Live Your Inspired Vision!

August 23, 2018January 31, 2018

How to Communicate with your Spouse

No matter how long you and your spouse have been together, and no matter how close you consider your relationship, there are common communication issues that surface in every relationship at one point or another.

Here are four important communication issues to address in every relationship to maintain or recharge that aura of happiness and comfort:

1. How to Actively Listen.

Each person carries a lot on a daily basis.

Consider how many fears, thoughts, resentments, passions, and problems we all carry each day.

That’s why we need a release that both lessens the load as well as analyzes these feelings and thoughts.

Recognizing this need is your key to learning how to listen to your spouse.

Listen without judgment.

A person will not share what’s on their mind unless they feel accepted and safe from negative rebuffing.

Realize that your spouse may want you to listen to them without seeking a solution.

They may want advice, but more often than not, people just need to vent.

If you are actively listening, you will be able to gauge whether they are seeking solutions or just an ear to listen.

2. Be interested and sympathetic.

This is, after all, your spouse and everything that concerns them should concern you.

Discern what you would want if the roles were reversed and engage yourself as the best listener there is.

How to Be Heard.

It can be one of the most infuriating and disappointing issues to face when your spouse just doesn’t listen to what you have to say.

After all, we all want to be heard!

Be aware of your overdramatic attitude or nagging.

Though you may not even recognize that you do it, if you’re frustrated, chances are you do.

Your spouse won’t respect these tactics and they are more apt to turn off their listening altogether.

Ask why.

Tell your spouse that you feel unheard, and ask them why that is. Do not be confrontational, that’s not the point here.

Sometimes people are so wrapped up in their own daily issues that they don’t even realize they aren’t listening to you.

Make them aware and let them know just how much you want to share your thoughts and feelings.

Be prepared to compromise.

Give your spouse some slack by compromising to help engage them more.

For example, schedule a time every night for you to tell them about whatever’s on your mind so their whole attention can be focused on you during that time.

In time, your spouse will learn to listen without an appointment!

3. How to Express Your Feelings Respectfully.

Sometimes when we are angry, hurt or experiencing any other heightened feeling towards our spouse, we are unable to express our feelings respectfully.

The pain or anger speaks for us, and we end up saying things to hurt them and worsen the situation.

Take a breath before you voice your concern or issue.

There’s no point in saying something you’ll only regret a few minutes later.

Have a rough plan of how to say what you want to say without calling your spouse names or placing undue blame on them.

When you do this, your spouse will be less likely to get defensive and more likely to listen and work things out with you.

4. How to Build Trust.

Building trust is something that begins at the onset of a relationship.

Whether you have a new relationship or you have to rebuild lost trust, this bonding requires the right actions.

Be honest.

Above all else, you have to be honest with your spouse – about your intentions, actions, and your daily rights and wrongs.

Trying to hide something in mistruth sets you up for inevitable trouble.

Consider what’s at stake.

Remind yourself about what you have to lose if you do not honor the trust your spouse has for you.

This will help you to act accordingly and will help you build and maintain trust in your relationship.

Wait it out.

Whether you are in a new relationship or are in a long term one that needs repair, building trust takes time; time will reveal whether you are a trustworthy person or not.

Be trustworthy and in time you will win your spouse’s trust.

Communicating with your spouse may not always be easy.

However, if you follow these tips consistently, you will be rewarded with closer relationships, less stress, and greater happiness.

How do you feel when you are able to communicate with your spouse?

How can this bring more joy to your marriage?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 23, 2018January 31, 2018

Arriving at one point is the starting point to another. – John Dewey

August 22, 2018January 31, 2018

How to Communicate With Your Boss

One of the most stressful things you may encounter is preparing to talk to your boss.

It could be about a job evaluation, promotion, raise, co-worker concerns, or any number of things.

Whether your boss is a tyrant or lax, fearing a confrontation with your superiors is natural.

Perhaps you are concerned that your boss will think less of you or consider you as selfish or greedy.

Maybe you see the whole scenario as an evaluation of your worth at work.

The fact remains, though, that you will be more likely to get what you want if you let your boss know what you want!

Here are 7 great tips to effectively communicate with your boss and get what you want:

1. Write it down.

Write down the most important points of the topic or concern you wish to address.

If it’s a raise, lay out why you feel you deserve it in clear-cut examples.

The best way you can effectively remember and address these points is with a list.

When you are sitting across the desk from your boss and your nerves are in high gear, your list is your backup of your most important points so that the meeting is not futile.

2. Schedule the meeting in advance.

Whether you work in a laid-back small office or a by-the-book corporate environment, making an appointment will show your boss that it’s important.

They will know that you mean business before you even meet with them, and will hopefully be prepared with full attention.

3. Make eye contact.

Making eye contact shows that you are confident and sincere.

It shows, without egotism, that you are aware of your importance to the company and also that you know what you deserve.

4. Don’t be friends.

You may be on a casual basis with your boss, but the reason for the meeting is to discuss a formal issue and it’s not to be casually dismissed.

Be serious from beginning to end.

Even though you may be on good terms with your boss, they are still your superior with bosses and obligations of their own.

Be aware that their priorities might not include your priorities. They see your issue from a different perspective.

5. Be prepared for either answer.

Just because you have good reasons to justify your point does not mean that you’ll automatically receive the answer you desire.

Perhaps you will, but perhaps you won’t.

Be prepared for any possible answer so that you are not caught unaware.

6. Know your limits.

It’s also important to know that your boss may want to give you some of what you ask.

Be prepared for a compromise. Know what you will and will not accept beforehand.

If it’s a raise, for example, stake your limit at a certain percentage.

If you believe that your boss is one to compromise anyway, then ask for a higher amount than you will accept.

Knowing your limitations before you go in will limit your surprise as well as keep you in charge by being prepared.

7. Be prepared to take decisive action.

If you find yourself in a last straw situation in which you will only accept a certain amount, a certain action, or a certain result, be prepared to follow through if your boss doesn’t agree to your terms.

It may mean that it’s time to look for a new job if the topic means that much to you.

Knowing how to best communicate with your boss will enable you to get more of what you want.

When you follow these tips, you can prepare yourself as well as manage your stress level during the meeting.

By reducing your stress, you will be able to have an open and honest discussion, and hopefully you’ll enjoy the end result!

How easy is it for you to communicate with your boss?

How can communicating well help you work better?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 22, 2018January 31, 2018

Remember the difference between a boss and a leader. A boss says “Go!”, a leader says “Let’s go!” – E. M. Kelly

August 21, 2018January 31, 2018

I get rid of things I no longer need.

August 21, 2018January 31, 2018

How to Avoid Negative People

There’s an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.”

The reasoning behind this is that we tend to become like the people we hang out with.

If you’re around “cannot, should not, and do not” people, then you’ll constantly be discouraged and depressed.

Instead, surround yourself with visionaries and those who can inspire and motivate you so you can, should, and do take action.

Following your intuition can be an effective way of weeding out negative people early on upon meeting them.

Here are some body language signs to look out for when you meet new people:

A sick or uncomfortable feeling forms in the pit of your stomach.

The hair on the back of your neck stands on end.

Your skin crawls and you feel jumpy and adverse to touch.

Your shoulder muscles knot up and your throat and chest constrict.

You feel a sense of pressure, agitation, or darkness.

You feel physically, mentally, or emotionally drained after meeting the individual.

These symptoms may be your body’s way of telling you to stay clear of this person.

You may leave their presence feeling depressed and discouraged because all you’ve heard is complaining.

Naturally, this sucks the energy right out of you, but you can learn to read these signs early on and you’ll save yourself from becoming involved with a negative person.

These people are toxic and will poison your mind with their negativity.

Seek Out People with Positive Attitudes

Sometimes you can tell someone is positive just by their outward appearance or the way they conduct themselves.

Walking confidently with their head up or even smiling are signs that a person is in a positive mood.

Some other signs of a positive person are more intuitive, such as:

You get a feeling of familiarity – as if you’ve known the person forever.

You feel relaxed, calm, and safe.

You breathe easier.

You lean forward instead of crossing your arms defensively and withdrawing.

You’re at ease with the other person’s touch (hug, handshake, etc.).

You leave their presence feeling energized and alive.

Just as negative people put out a negative energy, positive people have positive energy.

These people are nourishing and supportive.

Your body can pick up on this and warn you or encourage you depending on the situation.

How do we go about finding these positive people we wish to associate with?

Much of the above responses are simply felt in our day-to-day associations.

However, there are proactive steps we can take to align ourselves with positive people:

Find a local community event, club, or group where people challenge themselves and encourage their members to be better people.

They will help you set goals for yourself and then achieve them.

Participate in online forums or organize your own positive mentoring group.

Sometimes it’s impossible to completely avoid certain negative people (perhaps a boss or family member), but you can limit your relationship with them and seek out positive role models elsewhere.

Utilize your positive support system to prevent the negative people in your life from getting the best of you.

Rely on your friends or family when you need to vent to get rid of your negative emotions.

The choices you make in life are yours alone.

It’s completely in your power to choose who you are friendly with and whether you want to live a happy life or be miserable.

If you feel too much negativity, take control of your life and make some changes to eliminate the negative sources.

This will likely take some time but making these changes will help improve your daily mood and remind you that good things are ahead.

How can negative people impact your life?

Why do you need to avoid negative people?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 20, 2018January 31, 2018

Keeping my life in balance allows me to rest.

August 20, 2018January 31, 2018

Every Day Healthy Living Tips

It may be easy to forget the importance of living a healthy life when we’re going through the daily grind.

It may be even easier to get caught up in what’s convenient instead of what’s good for us.

However, the benefits you can enjoy with a healthy lifestyle are worth making healthy living a priority!

Here are three healthy living tips you can use to better your health, increase your happiness, and enjoy life to its fullest:

1. Rest and rejuvenate.

The biggest healthy living tip that many people overlook is the need for sleep.

Life can get hectic. When we don’t have enough time to get things done, most of us opt to stay up late to make up for the lack of time.

Or perhaps our busy minds prevent us from getting a restful sleep in the first place.

However, getting less sleep is actually counterproductive to doing anything efficiently, effectively, or well!

Getting enough sleep enables you to work and pursue your passions vigorously.

It rejuvenates your body, mind, and attitude.

You should have an ergonomically correct mattress and pillow to ensure you get the best sleep possible.

2. Eat nutritious food.

Another healthy living tip is to eat a healthy, balanced diet.

Many people believe that they don’t need to eat healthy or watch their diet because they don’t need to lose weight.

This couldn’t be further from the truth!

You should put only the best foods in your mouth no matter how much you weigh, what size you wear, or how fit you look.

What you eat affects your entire body, including your brain.

You can think clearer, feel happier, enjoy more energy and avoid illness by eating nutritious foods.

Strive to eat more raw vegetables and fruits instead of processed or packaged foods.

3. Affirm the positive.

Having a positive mindset is the key to living a fulfilling life.

Many people don’t realize the importance of living and thinking positively.

As a result, they inevitably find themselves allowing negative things to rule their mind and body.

Your attitude is one of the most important contributors to both your happiness and health.

Like every other healthy living strategy mentioned, being positive all the time (or even most of the time) may take some effort.

However, an easy way to incorporate positive thoughts into your everyday life is to use affirmations.

Many people use affirmations to help them think more positively as they go about their daily life.

Positive affirmations are simply statements you can use to replace the negative thoughts running through your head.

A good affirmation encourages you to live the healthiest lifestyle possible and be the best that you can be.

Positive affirmations often remind you about how important it is to take care of yourself.

An example could be, “I can neutralize bad habits with good food, exercise, and healthy living.”

This is a simple way to be reminded of how important you are, how important your body is, and how important your mental health is.

You have a whole toolbox and support system at your disposal to help make your life happier and healthier.

All you have to do is take action!

How are you taking care of your health?

How does this allow you to be a better person?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 19, 2018January 31, 2018

Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish. – Michelangelo

August 19, 2018January 31, 2018

Developing Good Sleep Habits Brings Good Health

When you wake up, do you immediately look forward to going back to bed?

When the alarm goes off does it seem as though you just closed your eyes?

It’s time to get a good night sleep!

After all, it’s amazing what a restful night’s sleep can do for your body.

Battling chronic exhaustion will either force you to find ways to get more rest or it’ll bring on ill health.

Naturally, you’ll want to develop an effective sleep routine before your body forces you to rest!

Try some of these sleep tips so you can get a better night’s sleep and wake up feeling energized:

1. Make your bedroom your sanctuary.

Keep your bedroom neat and quiet so you feel calm upon entering.

Your bedroom needs to be a getaway from the stress of the day.

When a TV is on, even if you aren’t watching it, the light output feels almost as great as the sun.

This confuses your body and makes it hard to “shut down” even after you’ve turned off the screen.

If you have a TV or a home office in your bedroom, it will interfere with your ability to go to sleep.

Move the television out of the bedroom or at the very least, try placing a sheet over it so you’re not tempted to watch it before bed.

2. Keep your room dark.

Your body is designed to sleep when it’s dark. If you’re not used to this, try it for a while anyway.

Children are used to sleeping with a light on but you’ll soon realize that it’s a huge distraction in getting to sleep.

Pull the curtains closed, turn off all the lights, shut your door, then sleep like you’re hibernating!

Many stores sell “blackout” curtains that block out the sunlight so the room remains dark.

Consider using these curtains to fully darken the room.

3. Exercise during the day.

Exercising during the day releases stress hormones to help you feel more relaxed.

Most forms of exercise will pep you up and give you more energy immediately afterwards so make sure you exercise well ahead of bedtime.

The energy you receive from daytime exercise will give you more restful nights because your body will be less stressed and more relaxed.

You’ll be giving your body a total makeover!

Even though yoga is considered relaxing, it may keep you awake if done in the evening hours.

Plan your exercise routine either in the morning or late afternoon.

4. Make yourself a bedtime routine.

This doesn’t only work with kids.

If you get in the habit of going to bed at a certain time, your body will expect to be sleeping.

Some recommend milk right before bed, as it contains the sleep inducing chemical tryptophan.

Create a bedtime routine that involves things that make you tired, such as soft music, a warm shower, light reading material, or journaling.

Television stimulates the mind too much, which can cause difficulty sleeping.

Try recording your favorite nighttime TV shows to watch the next day, rather than staying up late.

5. Leave daytime stress outside.

In order to rest, you’ll want to put aside things that keep your mind whirling.

By keeping a calendar of things to do the next day, you can put your mind to rest.

Make sure you’ve dealt with all the questions that keep you awake – what bills need to be paid, what time the doctor appointment is, and so on, before you lay down.

This frees you up for sleep.

Once you’ve learned to rest well at night, you’ll experience a huge improvement in your quality of life.

No more yawning through the mornings and the groggy, grumpy you will be replaced with an energetic person ready to take on life.

So what are you waiting for? Start a relaxing bedtime routine tonight and wake up feeling refreshed tomorrow!

How did you feel after getting a good sleep?

How different is your day whenever you get a good sleep?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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