children – Personal Growth Cafe

September 11, 2019March 27, 2018

Help Your Children Develop Independence

When your children are young, they depend on you for their every need.

Sometimes it’s difficult for you to sit back and watch them develop their own independence.

It might be tough but when you allow your child to make his or her own mistakes and learn life lessons early, they’ll grow into happy and healthy adults.

The best thing you can do is to find a balance because you don’t want to allow your child too much independence too early.

You want to be able to watch your child develop independence from the sidelines so you can step in when needed.

Consider these tips as you nudge your child towards an independent life:

1. Let them make choices. While you don’t want your children making all the decisions, it’s important to allow them to make certain choices from time to time. Even as young toddlers you can give them opportunities to choose and develop independence.

Allow your children their own meal choices.

Let them pick some family activities.

Let them choose toys and pursue their own hobbies.

Allow them to dress themselves as long as their choices are appropriate.

2. Work on social skills. A large part of independence is learning how to effectively communicate. Improper communication skills can hold your child back. Children of all ages can work on developing better social skills.

Reinforce the idea of sharing with young children.

Teach your children appropriate ways to make friends.

Teach them how to be polite and to use good manners.

3. Life lessons. It’s always a good idea to work on life lessons.

This can be done early as well.

Your children don’t need you to treat them as if you’ll always be there to take care of their every need.

While you should always be there for them emotionally, teach them that you won’t solve every problem for them.

Assign age appropriate chores to your children.

Provide them with rewards for a job well done.

Teach your children time management and problem solving skills.

Young Children

When you create a good learning environment for your children right from the beginning, they’ll start to develop independence on their own.

They’ll learn to crawl to you and walk to you.

It’s important to give them opportunities to learn on their own early on.

If they attend daycare, they’ll work on these skills during the day while you’re at work.

If not, it might be a good idea to attend a local playgroup so your child can get to know others their age.

During these opportunities, let them do as they please while you watch from the sidelines.

Let them play and only step in when needed.

If your child begins to fight with another child over a toy, step in momentarily to reinforce the idea of sharing.

Whenever your child shows positive social skills, remember it together and reward them for their good behavior.

Older Children

Older children present a different set of parenting requirements.

You might be scared as they face life’s tough decisions, but in the end you need to trust that they’ll make the right choices.

After all, you can’t make decisions for them, but you’ll probably realize that your kids are smarter than you think!

In these circumstances, all you can do is work to keep the lines of communication open.

As your children are growing up, have the tough conversations with them and let them know that you can be relied upon for your love and support.

Trust your children, but monitor them closely if you do have suspicions of negative activities.

You shouldn’t encroach on their personal space, but there are still things you can do, such as keep track of their online activities and ask them where they’re going, with whom, and when they’ll be back.

Set rules and curfews to help them make good choices.

Follow these tips and you’ll be rewarded with joy and pride as your children grow into capable, confident adults.

How independent are your children at the moment?

What activities can help build their independence?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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August 10, 2019March 26, 2018

Eight Simple Strategies to Motivate Your Children

Our children are one of the most important and precious people in our lives.

We want the best for them and hope they strive to do well in all things.

Children, just like adults, can develop motivational roadblocks that hold them back from achieving what they’re meant to do.

Since the inception of the Internet, television, video games, and social networking, motivating our children has gotten progressively more difficult.

To have them complete schoolwork, do some chores around the house, get more involved with school activities, or even just go outside to get some fresh air can be a struggle.

Here are some simple strategies you can use to help you motivate your children:

1. Praise your child for their accomplishments. When your child accomplishes something, no matter how big or small, be sure to express how proud you are of them.

If they know that they’ve made you happy, they’re more apt to strive to make that happen again.

2. Avoid focusing on the negative. We all make mistakes, so it’s much more productive not to harp on them.

You’ll receive much better results by focusing on what your child does well rather than the few mistakes they may make.

3. Show pride in your child’s work. Display a good grade or report card.

Placing their work on the refrigerator door, believe it or not, still works wonders!

When his accomplishments are proudly displayed, he’ll be motivated to achieve as much as he possibly can.

4. Brag. Call a grandparent, aunt, or uncle and tell them about your child’s recent accomplishment.

When your child sees that you take the time to make a special phone call because you’re so proud, it encourages them and boosts their confidence.

5. Use rewards. Every child likes to be rewarded for good work.

You can try things like a weekly allowance or a special treat, like a movie or ice cream, as a reward for good behavior.

Whatever the reward, children will strive to do their best to obtain these special treats.

This can be used for just about anything from a good grade to washing the family dog.

Children enjoy being able to receive something tangible for a job well done.

6. Show sincere enthusiasm in the things your child enjoys. As a child grows, his interests may change frequently.

As a parent, it’s important that you keep up with your child’s likes and dislikes.

7. Sit down and talk with your child. Find out why they’re interested in certain things and how you can help them with their activities.

If you show sincerity and really listen to what they’re telling you, it’ll be a big motivating factor.

8. Don’t overwhelm your child with goals. Naturally, we want our children to succeed, but sometimes we can overdo it.

After the homework, chores, and after-school activities, children deserve time to just be children.

If you give them some free time to do what they want, whether it be playing video games, watching television, or anything else they choose, it will keep them motivated to do other things as well.

Children are each a unique individual and have different interests and goals in life.

Though at times their motivation may waiver, we, as parents, will be there to point them in the right direction.

Using these motivation tips will make that process just a little bit easier!

When was the last time you spent time with your children?

How did you show them they are valued?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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January 28, 2019February 28, 2018

How to Become a Better Storyteller

What is the most memorable kind of communication?

A good old-fashioned story, of course!

Whether it’s through hieroglyphics, parables, fairy tales, or fables, a good story is the deepest way to connect the mind to the soul.

Storytelling is a cherished tradition and an entertaining and effective way to convey information about almost any subject.

Walk in any classroom and you’ll find teachers educating their students with stories.

Walk into a major corporation and you’ll find high profile CEOs expressing thoughts, opinions, and facts to their employees with stories.

Wherever you go, storytelling is a powerful means of communication.

Why Should We Tell Stories?

It’s been discovered that each of us has a desire, and perhaps even a need, to tell and hear stories.

By sharing stories with others, and indulging in their stories, we learn to understand one another at a much deeper level.

By creating a common level of understanding, we come together as a community of individuals – appreciating both the differences and similarities we share.

You can convey your thoughts, feelings, and experiences through stories.

By doing so, you’re verbally expressing the things you value, the customs you take part in, and the wisdom you’ve acquired in life.

Have you ever felt that you didn’t have anything interesting to share?

Have you ever wished that you could grip audiences with the power of a good story?

If so, you’ll be happy to know that there are many stories within you, just waiting to be told!

And by becoming a better storyteller, you can overcome feelings of isolation and develop a stronger connection with others.

Steps to Becoming a Great Storyteller

Even if you’ve never told a story in your life, you can become a great storyteller!

With a little effort and practice, your storytelling skills will improve and people will be drawn to what you have to say.

Here are important techniques you can use to tell great stories:

1. Ensure that your presence is prominent.

You must have the attention of your audience, whether it’s a small group of friends or a large crowd.

If you can captivate your audience, you’re halfway there! In order to do so, you’ll want speak clearly and deliberately with an upright posture and confident demeanor.

2. Self-confidence plays a large role in making your presence prominent in a room.

If you lack the confidence to step outside of your comfort zone and be confident, you’ll have a hard time gaining your audience’s attention.

3. Connect with and engage your audience. Connecting with your audience on an emotional level is important.

If you’re able to do this, you’ll draw in the interest of the crowd and your story won’t fall on deaf ears.

This means understanding who they are, what they desire, why they’re there, and how to speak to them.

4. Talk and relate to your audience on an equal level.

You shouldn’t let your ego lead to a condescending tone of voice, nor should you let your wavering self-confidence make you timid.

We’re all human and we’re all equal, so eliminate any negative perceptions or mental barriers from your mind.

5. Match how you speak with whom you’re speaking to.

Your tone, language, and attire should be different when you’re talking to high school students versus a group of women over 40.

Try to precisely understand what the audience goes through day-in and day-out and tell that story.

6. Interact with your audience.

Audience involvement is a simple technique that famous speakers use when sharing stories.

You can ask questions, set up activities, or have someone share their experiences.

This keeps your audience tuned in because they become part of the story.

Humor can help you engage and interact with an audience but don’t force it.

Forcing humor into a story where it doesn’t belong is awkward for both the storyteller and the audience.

7. Teach something.

Your audience wants to learn something.

They don’t want to simply learn about you; they want to learn something they can apply in their own lives.

Structure your story so there’s both a situation and a solution or moral, that way there’s a deeper meaning associated with the story that the audience can identify with.

When you gain the full attention of your audience, you can connect with them on an emotional level and interact with them, that way you can more closely identify with their personal situations and leave them on the edge of their seats.

All it takes is practice!

How much did you enjoy your childhood because of the stories you were told?

What is your favorite story? Why?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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January 13, 2019February 21, 2018

I love and accept my family as a mother loves her child.

The bond between a mother and her child is stronger than steel.

Mothers love and forgive their children unconditionally.

Children know that when they run to mom they always find open arms.

Such is the love I have for my family.

The treasure hunter in me regularly seeks and finds the embodiment of hidden treasure in the richness of my family.

I love my family because they make my life great.

My family is a soft pillow that I can rest my head on.

I crave time with my family and my heart delights in watching them grow.

I am affectionate with my loved ones.

My supply of hugs and kisses is always fully stocked.

When I speak to my family, I use soft words of admiration because my goal is to nurture their self-esteem.

I take care of my family.

Selflessly, I put their wants even before my own needs.

My family is my gift from my Creator.

Each member of my amazing family has a special place in my heart and a distinctive trait that I adore.

There is nothing my family members can do to lose my love.

My heart toward them is filled with forgiveness, keeping no record of their offenses.

When we have disagreements, we still value each other over our differences.

Just as a mother forgets her children’s misconduct, my family retains no recollection or history of wrongdoings.

I get along with my loved ones and I do my best to ensure that we get along with one another.

My family and I share many traditions that bring us closer together and help us cherish our time with one another.

What distinctive traits does each of your family members have?

What kind of words do you use with yourfamily?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 15, 2018February 15, 2018

Learning How to Become a Good Storyteller

There are many times throughout your life that being a good storyteller could come in handy.

If you have children, you’ve probably told the traditional bedtime stories – Goldilocks and the Three Bears, The Princess and the Pea, or others – hundreds of times.

Learning how to become a good storyteller could make your job as a parent much easier.

You may also need to be a good storyteller as a business owner, employee, writer, teacher, or in many other occupations.

There are two items that are absolutely necessary for being a storyteller.

A storyteller needs a good story that is relevant to the audience.

Be sure you know what you’re trying to convey to your audience and keep their interests in mind as you unveil your story.

Be aware of how you’re presenting the story, whether orally or written.

What tone are you projecting?

Are you trying to rush the story to completion?

Your presentation will determine how well the audience is pulled into the story.

Here are some tips that will help you become a better storyteller:

1. Read, read, and read some more. You’ll stand a better chance of becoming a good storyteller if you’re exposed to good stories.

Think back to the stories you enjoyed as a child or authors that held your imagination. Use those stories as guidelines for creating your own.

2. Write everything down. If you write down your experiences, things you’ve heard others say, or dreams you have had, you may be able to incorporate some of that into your stories.

3. Don’t limit yourself. Maybe you’re interested in storytelling to entertain your children.

Start writing your stories down or record them as you tell them to your children.

You may decide to create a book of stories much the way Frank Baum did with the OZ stories or C.S. Lewis did with The Chronicles of Narnia.

4. Stick with what you know. Tell stories about something you’re passionate about. When you know your subject matter, it’s easier to weave a story.

Create your stories based on people you know but change the names to protect the innocent.

5. Determine what you want to communicate. If you’re telling a story to children, your purpose will be to entertain and teach them.

If you’re using a story to help you sell something, your purpose will be to elicit an emotional response. The reasons for each story are entirely different.

6. Think of your audience. Keep a story simple for children and increase it’s complexity with older audiences.

Children have a shorter attention span than adults, so short stories work better with them.

Too many details or a story taking too many detours also bogs down children. Keep it simple.

7. Pay attention to the world around you. Have you noticed a need that’s not being met? You could tell a story to call others to action.

If you’re a business owner, you might be able to use a popular trend as a basis for a story on your website.

Or if you’re a stay-at-home mom, you might be able to use a tip you learned from another mom to tell a story to your kids.

8. Learn to stick to the important facts. Storytellers, especially new storytellers, have a tendency to take off on rabbit trails that have nothing to do with their story.

By straying from the story, you’ll lose your audience’s attention.

Try writing your story down on paper first; you’ll be more likely to remain focused.

9. Consider taking acting lessons. Acting lessons will help you learn to bring your story to life.

Use different voices for the characters in the story and practice your improvisational skills.

Storytelling can be an important tool to use when trying to communicate with others.

With stories, you can entertain others or bring them to action depending on the story and how well you tell it.

Whether you’re trying to teach your children not to be afraid of the dark or you’re selling a product, learning how to be a good storyteller can bring you greater success in your endeavor.

When was the last time you told a story?

How did you make it fun and interesting?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 1, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Kids

New babies are our pride and joy. Then they grow up.

Your relationship with your kids will change and develop as they mature.

It’s important to build a trusting relationship with your kids while they’re young and nurture it carefully as they grow.

Trust is a major building block when it comes to the parent-child relationship.

This is especially true as your children age and become teenagers.

You want to know that the trust you have in them isn’t misplaced, but you want them to know that they can trust you as well.

Trust is broken when one person in a relationship doesn’t act in the way the other thinks they should.

This could be a teenager who sneaks out at night to go to a party.

It could just as easily be a parent who stops coming to a teen’s sporting events for no apparent reason.

In either case, trust is broken because of a difference in expectations.

Children want to trust their parents.

However, parents still need to earn their children’s trust.

To do this, you must treat your child with respect, follow through on promises, and enforce household rules.

Your child needs to know that you’ll always speak truthfully to them and be reliable.

Trust is a two-way street.

Children and teenagers need to show their parents that they’re trustworthy by following their parents’ rules.

This goes back to acting as expected, which is the basis for trust and respect.

Here are some action steps you can take to build a trusting relationship with your kids:

1. Stress the fact that you’ll love them, no matter what.

Children and teens need to know that they have your unconditional love.

Go ahead and tell them, “No matter what you do, I’ll always love you. That will never change. I may not like what you do, and there may be consequences for those actions, but my love for you will never change.”

2. Keep the lines of communication open.

Ask open-ended questions so you can learn to understand each other’s perspective.

You may want to have a family meeting where you discuss the family’s rules and boundaries as well as the consequences of overstepping them.

3. Explain the benefits of having your trust.

Give them concrete reasons why being trustworthy is to their advantage.

For example, your child may ask to spend the night at a friend’s house.

If they maintain a trusting relationship with you, you may be more willing to allow that privilege.

4. Provide a road map for success.

How will they know if they’re meeting your expectations if you never tell them what they are?

Explain to them that skipping homework, talking back, snotty attitudes, and slamming doors will erode your trust.

However, finishing chores, doing their homework, speaking to you with respect and calling in to ask you about a change in plans will go a long way to building trust.

5. Give your child positive reinforcement when they do something right.

Show your appreciation for completing chores on time or doing more than expected.

Reward them with an extra half-hour of fun when they’re out because they’ve shown you that they can be trusted.

Trust is so important between a parent and child.

These hints can teach you how to build a trusting relationship with your child, but the work is still up to you.

Keep talking to your kids, expect the best from them, and you may find that they rise above your expectations.

How often do you spend time with your kids?

How can you develop a trusting relationship with them?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 22, 2018January 31, 2018

I love spending time with my children.

I love spending time with my children for many reasons.

One of the things I love most about them is the way they remind me to live in the moment.

Unlike many adults, kids are generally uninhibited by the need to perform.

They find great joy in the simple pleasures of life: catching fireflies, riding a bike, reading a good book or drawing a pretty picture for a friend.

They can get caught up in their interests for hours, pursuing it with single-minded attention.

When I spend time with them, I remember what it means to be absorbed in the moment, to be so fascinated that I am open to all its beauty and opportunities.

My children also model unconditional love for me.

Oh, they do get angry! But children are remarkably forgiving and trusting.

They know that, regardless of whatever mistakes I make, I have their best interests at heart.

I strive to maintain that same openness in my life.

I allow those I love some leeway, daring to trust their love, even if we occasionally disagree.

I allow myself to slow down and re-experience the simple pleasures in life.

I let go of the idea that time well-spent must involve something that can be billed or bought.

I am content to sit and blow bubbles with my daughter or bake cookies with my son, knowing that they are the ones who know what it means to truly live.

When was the last time you played with your children?

What have you learned from a child recently?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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June 6, 2018January 7, 2018

I make time to play with my children.

I take time to play with my children because they help me remember what is truly important in life and remind me to keep my priorities in line.

Children are able to achieve a level of happiness that often escapes adults.

When I play with my children, I am reminded to slow down and truly experience the thrill of the moment, whether it involves chasing a butterfly or blowing soap bubbles or hitting a baseball over the back fence.

My children’s eagerness to learn and explore helps me stay in touch with my own inner self, with its inborn craving to learn and grow.

When I play with my children, I am reminded that there is far more to life than how much I earn or what kind of car I drive.

The more time I spend surrounded by the innocent eagerness of children, the less any of that seems to matter.

I want to hang onto the eagerness and openness that I had when I was a child.

I want to be so eager to learn that I can’t stop asking questions (even if, as an adult, I often have to try to answer them myself!).

I want to be so enthralled with the natural world that I can lose all track of time because I’m so absorbed in watching it unfold around me.

I want to be so caught up in the moment that I experience life with my entire mind and all my senses.

While I do teach my children the skills they need to thrive as adults, they teach me just as much about staying connected with the best and truest part of myself.

What have your children taught you about life?

What time can you set aside this week to play with your children?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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April 13, 2018January 7, 2018

I am who I want my children to become.

March 22, 2018January 7, 2018

How to Promote Healthy Behaviors in Your Children

Health should be a top priority for you as you raise your children.

When you start young, you can set your child up for a long and healthy life, just by promoting healthy behaviors now.

Childhood Obesity

Statistics have shown that when a child is obese, they’re more likely to continue to struggle with the problem during their adult life.

You can combat this by concentrating on a healthy diet and an active lifestyle for your young ones.

Keep these items in mind as you promote healthy behaviors in your children:

1. Children learn by example.

Look to your own habits first.

Are they up to par?

Your children watch every move you make and they’re likely to repeat your behaviors.

While a family pizza is a nice treat every once in awhile, if it becomes a habit, your children will continue to expect it all the time.

Be a model for your children by maintaining a balanced diet.

Show them that they must exercise by exercising yourself.

2. Make it fun.

If you make healthy behaviors fun, your children will look forward to engaging in them.

Get excited about brushing your teeth.

Play sports with your children, instead of just walking and running.

Do what you need to do to keep the excitement alive.

3. Use repetition.

Fight the urge to slip up when it comes to continuing your healthy behaviors.

If you do something every day for 21 days, it becomes a habit.

Healthy habits are easy to maintain once they’re ingrained in your brain!

For example, if you brush your teeth every single morning and night, your teeth will feel “dirty” if you miss a brushing session.

4. Buy fresh healthy snacks.

Everyone enjoys a good snack.

Have plenty of healthy snack options available to your children.

You can put out plates of fresh fruit and veggies.

When your children are hungry, they’ll make do with what they have, even if it isn’t their favorite.

5. Turn off the TV. In this day and age, the TV plays a large role in life.

If you find that your children are spending too much time in front of it, establish a no TV or video game policy during certain hours and encourage your children to go outside or read a book.

6. Stay involved.

Get actively involved in your child’s life.

If you continue to encourage them when they’re doing something good, they’ll enjoy the attention.

Getting involved in this way will give your children the confidence to continue with their healthy habit.

7. Sign up for activities.

Your community likely has a variety of activities to choose from in order to remain active while having fun.

Discover what your children like and sign them up for those activities.

When Things Go Wrong

People lead busy lives and sometimes you’ll realize that you’ve let some bad behaviors take over.

In these situations, it’s important to stay on top of the problem and search for a solution.

Define the problem and develop an action plan that will help you get back on track.

For example, if your family has fallen into a pattern where you start to eat out too frequently, perhaps you can find some quick and healthy home recipes or search for healthier places to eat out.

Following these tips will keep you and your children on the right track and enable a healthy lifestyle for years to come.

What behaviors do you want your children to develop?

How can you be a good example to your children?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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