love – Page 3 – Personal Growth Cafe

November 22, 2018February 19, 2018

I openly accept family and friends planting hope, experience, kindness, and support in my garden of love.

We are created to be part of a community; therefore, I openly welcome the color and beauty that friends and family add to my life.

I know that my family and friends love me because of who I am.

I can do nothing to take that away.

I bask in their support, knowing that they will always love me and believe in me.

Their kindness splashes a golden hue across good days and bad.

Because of their support, I am a better, stronger person.

I draw on their experience as well.

I have let go of the idea that somehow I should be able to know everything.

Instead, I surround myself with people who are more than willing to share what they have learned through their own experiences.

They guide me in my journey.

We are many different shapes and colors, but we are all a part of the same garden.

Because I know that we fit together in an amazingly beautiful way, I have great hope for the future.

I openly share in the kindness and support of my community of family and friends.

I am confident, content, secure, and loved.

What kindness has someone shown me lately that brightened my day?

How often do you allow yourself to draw hope from the value of your community?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

Also, as your gift for taking this to heart – and this is profoundly important… to us ALL – go to UnitingPlanetEarth.com/ignition/ and do the Uniting Planet Earth 7-Day Quick-Start Ignition Program… and Allow it to Transform Your Life.

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October 26, 2018February 16, 2018

Top Ten Ways to Move on in Your Love Life

You’ve been in your relationship for quite some time.

Things have changed recently, and you’re beginning to doubt that it’s going to last much longer.

You’re not even sure how you got to this point! What happened?

Warning Signs

There are many warning signs that a relationship is breaking down.

Think back over the last few months and you may recognize some of these signs:

1. Unnecessary criticism. Your partner blames you or attacks your character.

2. Contempt. Nearly everything your partner says is a complaint or an insult.

3. Avoidance. Your partner has begun ignoring or avoiding you.

4. Being defensive. You don’t listen to what your partner says for fear of being hurt or them lashing out at you again.

Two or more of these warning signs could signal that it’s time to move on, but how do you do that?

Moving On

First, realize that the end of any relationship is similar to dealing with a loss of a loved one.

You may go through the grieving process: denial, anger, ambivalence, depression, and recovery. This is normal and to be expected.

Give yourself some time to grieve and you’ll come out a stronger person on the other side.

Here are the top ten ways to move on in your love life after the end of a relationship:

1. Recognize and accept that the relationship is over. Don’t hold on when there’s nothing to hold on to.

2. Remove everything in your home that reminds you of them. Don’t keep sentimental items; they’ll only make you miserable.

Put away valuable items such as jewelry or other gifts rather than throwing them away. You may want those items in the future.

3. If seeing your ex hurts, make it a point to avoid them. Sometime in the future you may be able to be friends, but now is not the time to try.

4. Don’t make financial decisions right after a break up. Your emotions may cause you to make emotional decisions.

It’s better to wait until you’re on emotionally stable footing.

5. Avoid rebound relationships. Give yourself time to heal from being hurt before opening your heart again.

6. Focus on yourself. You may have spent so much time investing in the other person that you’ve let your own needs go.

Learn to find out about yourself again.

What do you like to do that you haven’t been doing?

Do something special just for you!

7. Take up a new hobby. Now is a great time to start something new.

Renew your interests in hobbies that you like, and spend time exploring new creative outlets.

Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn rock climbing, but your ex was afraid of heights.

There’s no reason to wait any longer. Go find an instructor and hit that mountain!

8. Don’t stay cooped up at home. It’s important that you spend time with friends who can encourage you and help you feel good about yourself.

9. Be friendly with people you find attractive. Smile, say hello, and act interested.

You may not be ready to jump right back into a relationship, but you can always leave the door open for future relationships.

10. Work your way back to dating slowly. You may want to start out by double dating with a friend.

Be up front with your date so they know what to expect.

Breaking up from a long-term relationship is never easy. Let’s admit it, it hurts.

You can move on in your love life after a break up if you recognize the end, and then follow the ten steps given above.

Soon you’ll find that you’re over your last relationship and ready for someone new.

Why do relationships end?

How can you learn from a relationship that has passed?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 5, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Delegate Tasks Effectively at Work and Home

Do you ever feel frustrated by too much work?

Does everyone else involved seem totally unaware of the urgency?

Imagine how different your life would be if only you could gain more cooperation in the workplace or at home!

Learning to delegate tasks effectively to employees, children, or teammates can reduce stress while accomplishing much more in less time.

Whether it’s your home or business you want to improve, a few changes can make all the difference in the world!

For example, when you visit a well-run classroom, you’ll find a teacher who has planned ahead for the day, assigned specific tasks to different children based on strengths, and requests help from the students.

The teacher doesn’t try to do everything.

Rather, the students are given assignments to be office helper, chalkboard washer, group leader, and more.

This works best when the tasks are spelled out on a chart with names assigned to the job, but simply requesting help is also effective.

You can use these same methods in your environment to recruit some much needed help and cooperation.

People intrinsically want to feel useful, so when delegating tasks, use these ideas:

Plan ahead. You can’t overestimate the power of planning.

When you know exactly what you want to accomplish, you can express it clearly to your children or employees.

With an end result in view, everyone stays on track.

Make a master list of tasks you’d like accomplished, including the different steps needed to complete each task.

Assign these steps to different people so each person in the office or family is working together to achieve a goal, and nobody is overburdened.

Match tasks to strengths.

Finding the person whose strength matches each need will not only result in the best product, but also more satisfaction in those doing the tasks.

Figure out who the writers, organizers, computer geeks, and artistic people are within your group and let their gifts complement their assignments.

The same holds true in your family when delegating tasks.

Match chores to the child based on age, physical capabilities, and preferences.

For example, if you have one child who likes a particular chore, let that chore become your child’s regular job.

Make tasks clear. Take the time to explain each person’s task and the steps needed to finish it.

Posting the steps on a dry erase board or chart is an effective visible reminder.

If your subordinates or children have clear expectations, you can simply tell them to complete their assigned job.

Some children are visual learners.

They learn by watching rather than listening to directions.

Show your children how to do a task correctly and they’ll learn quickly.

Make Deadlines Reasonable.

When you need something done quickly, especially in an office environment, people will naturally become stressed out trying to do the job correctly and quickly.

This will inevitably lead to mistakes being made and you’ll need extra time – and possibly extra money – to fix those mistakes.

Let your clients know how long is required to complete the job, and only commit to reasonable time frames.

If necessary, hire extra people to help rather than overloading your current workers.

You can keep your home and business running smoothly without frustration or stress.

With clear expectations and people functioning in their best capacities, peace and efficiency can be yours!

Start getting the results you want today by implementing these tips into your every day routines.

How does your family help with the chores at home?

How can you develop a better relationship with your family because of delegating?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 4, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner

Do you ever feel like your partner doesn’t understand you?

Has there been a change in your communication level in recent months?

If you’ve been experiencing either of these problems, it may help to know you’re not alone.

In fact, lack of communication between partners is often one of the top reasons for breakups.

There is hope, however. You can learn how to communicate effectively with your partner!

Most people don’t have any idea what it takes to have effective communication.

Even though you’ve been talking your whole life, have you really been communicating?

There’s so much more to communication that merely talking.

Effective communication includes non-verbal cues like eye contact, body language, and tone of voice, as well as the words you choose.

Communication also includes being able to listen and actually hear what your partner is saying.

If you’d like to communicate better with your partner, here are some ideas that can help:

Discuss problems appropriately.

If arguing is a problem for you and your partner, you can turn the arguments into meaningful discussions with the right techniques.

When you need to discuss an issue, set the right stage for effective communication by choosing a time when both of you are calm and in a good mood.

Instead of both of you talking at the same time, only one person should be allowed to talk at a time.

While one person is talking, the other person should concentrate on listening and hearing what’s actually being said.

When the first person finishes what they want to say, the other can then express their views about the situation.

Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and concerns rather than putting them down for how they feel.

Avoid accusations.

Blaming or accusing may also be an issue you have with your partner.

You can both help alleviate this problem by using “I” messages rather than “you”

Starting a statement with “You always” will accomplish one thing and one thing only: you, your partner, or both of you will immediately become defensive.

Use “I feel” or “I think” statements to express your feelings without blaming your partner for doing, or not doing, something you thought they should.

Here’s an example: Instead of saying “You’re never home in time for dinner,” you could say, “I feel upset about having spent time preparing a meal and having to share in it alone.”

In this way, your partner knows how you feel but they haven’t been personally attacked.

Listen effectively. You may feel like your partner doesn’t listen.

There’s a method of communicating called active listening in which one person talks and then the other paraphrases what was said.

After listening to the first partner, the second partner asks, “Did I understand you correctly?” and then paraphrases what they just heard.

Listening to each other might not even be the problem.

It might be that one or both of you haven’t actually understood what the other has said.

Active listening will clarify your comprehension.

Focus on one topic at a time.

Try to stick to one subject until the issue has been resolved or you agree to take a break from it.

Some couples start out talking about which type of dog to get and end up arguing about where to send their children to college.

This can help you make decisions and reduce the amount of stress you may both feel while you’re talking.

Effective communication with your partner is of the utmost importance if you want your relationship to last.

You want to know that your partner hears you, understands you, and is there for you.

They need to be able to convey to you their hopes and dreams as well as their concerns.

If you take the time to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner by following these ideas, you’ll enjoy greater happiness and success in your relationship.

What was the most memorable conversation you last had with your partner about?

How did it make you feel?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 2, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Partner

Ask any couple that’s been married for ten years or more and they’ll tell you how important trust is in their relationship.

In fact, trust is probably one of the most important aspects of any relationship.

If you need to establish or re-establish trust in your relationship, there are proven techniques you can use to make it happen.

Trust, in its simplest definition, is creating a place where another person feels emotionally safe.

They know they can tell you their deepest secrets without fear that you’ll share them with others.

They can be themselves with you and know that you’ll still love them.

For Couples in a Long Term Relationship

What can you do to build a more trusting relationship with your partner?

The answers may surprise you:

1. Make improving your communication skills one of your top priorities.

Learn how to be a good listener.

This means you don’t interrupt your partner while they’re talking unless there’s an emergency.

Work extra hard at ensuring you understand what your partner has said.

2. Use “I” statements rather than “you”

Say “I feel…” rather than “You make me feel…” This will help convey your feelings instead of attacking your partner.

“You” statements are nearly always taken as a personal attack.

This may not be your intent, but it’s almost always the result.

3. Act and speak positively about your partner, especially in front of other people.

It’s easier to trust someone who speaks well of you.

Conversely, if someone speaks about you in a nasty way, you’re likely to distrust them.

If you have something negative to say, try to say at least five positive statements prior to making the negative statement.

4. Don’t go to bed angry.

This may be one of the best pieces of advice for any married couple or people in a long-term relationship.

Instead of going to bed upset and getting up the next day still angry, do whatever you can to resolve any issue that could strain your relationship.

This means you’ll need to have good problem solving skills but they can be learned. It just takes practice.

For Couples Just Starting To Date

You can do a lot to build a trusting relationship when you first begin dating.

These tips will help:

1. Make dates and arrive on time.

If you have to arrive later than planned, call your partner to let them know you’ll be late.

This helps your partner learn that you’re true to your word.

2. If you’ve promised to do something, follow through with it.

Of course, there may be circumstances that keep you from following through.

Be sure to call your partner if something happens so they’ll be aware of the change in plans.

3. Men, don’t keep your feelings bottled up inside.

One way to earn the trust of women is to express your feelings.

Being open and transparent is a better choice and will help establish and build your partner’s trust in you.

There are some things you may want to keep to yourself.

For example, if you see someone attractive walking down the street, you may not want to tell your partner.

In fact, the better course of action would be to keep your eyes on your partner and pay special attention to what they’re saying.

Trust is so important in relationships.

Use the ideas above to work at building trust between you and your partner.

It takes time to build and maintain a trusting relationship, but the benefits are more than worth it!

When was the last time you went on a date with your husband?

What is the most worthwhile activity you do as a couple?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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October 1, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Kids

New babies are our pride and joy. Then they grow up.

Your relationship with your kids will change and develop as they mature.

It’s important to build a trusting relationship with your kids while they’re young and nurture it carefully as they grow.

Trust is a major building block when it comes to the parent-child relationship.

This is especially true as your children age and become teenagers.

You want to know that the trust you have in them isn’t misplaced, but you want them to know that they can trust you as well.

Trust is broken when one person in a relationship doesn’t act in the way the other thinks they should.

This could be a teenager who sneaks out at night to go to a party.

It could just as easily be a parent who stops coming to a teen’s sporting events for no apparent reason.

In either case, trust is broken because of a difference in expectations.

Children want to trust their parents.

However, parents still need to earn their children’s trust.

To do this, you must treat your child with respect, follow through on promises, and enforce household rules.

Your child needs to know that you’ll always speak truthfully to them and be reliable.

Trust is a two-way street.

Children and teenagers need to show their parents that they’re trustworthy by following their parents’ rules.

This goes back to acting as expected, which is the basis for trust and respect.

Here are some action steps you can take to build a trusting relationship with your kids:

1. Stress the fact that you’ll love them, no matter what.

Children and teens need to know that they have your unconditional love.

Go ahead and tell them, “No matter what you do, I’ll always love you. That will never change. I may not like what you do, and there may be consequences for those actions, but my love for you will never change.”

2. Keep the lines of communication open.

Ask open-ended questions so you can learn to understand each other’s perspective.

You may want to have a family meeting where you discuss the family’s rules and boundaries as well as the consequences of overstepping them.

3. Explain the benefits of having your trust.

Give them concrete reasons why being trustworthy is to their advantage.

For example, your child may ask to spend the night at a friend’s house.

If they maintain a trusting relationship with you, you may be more willing to allow that privilege.

4. Provide a road map for success.

How will they know if they’re meeting your expectations if you never tell them what they are?

Explain to them that skipping homework, talking back, snotty attitudes, and slamming doors will erode your trust.

However, finishing chores, doing their homework, speaking to you with respect and calling in to ask you about a change in plans will go a long way to building trust.

5. Give your child positive reinforcement when they do something right.

Show your appreciation for completing chores on time or doing more than expected.

Reward them with an extra half-hour of fun when they’re out because they’ve shown you that they can be trusted.

Trust is so important between a parent and child.

These hints can teach you how to build a trusting relationship with your child, but the work is still up to you.

Keep talking to your kids, expect the best from them, and you may find that they rise above your expectations.

How often do you spend time with your kids?

How can you develop a trusting relationship with them?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 30, 2018February 1, 2018

How to Build a Rock-Solid Foundation for Your Relationship

When you’re just starting in a new relationship, you have so much to talk about!

You may find that you share many of the same hopes and dreams for the future.

As the relationship grows, you want to be sure you’re building a rock-solid foundation on which to base your relationship.

Having that solid foundation will help your relationship weather the storms of life and bring you joy together.

In the past it wasn’t unusual for couples to stay married to the same person for their entire adult life.

It was expected that you would only have one spouse unless death took them away.

It was also expected that couples would buy a home and remain in that community to raise their children.

Commitment and community stability were two of the mainstays of the solid foundation marriages were built upon.

Modern Marriages

In today’s global economy, you’re no longer expected to stay in your same community your entire life.

You may, instead, travel the country or the world during your professional career.

However, you can still have a committed marriage that grows stronger as the years pass.

Unfortunately though, it seems that people today are afraid of true commitment.

Instead of entering a marriage with the intention to stick around no matter what, many people go into marriage with the idea that, “I can always get a divorce if things don’t work out.”

Having that idea, even if it’s not a conscious thought, makes leaving much easier when the going gets tough.

The road to a committed marriage with a rock-solid foundation is a journey based upon a familiar road map.

A couple must decide if they’re willing to make the journey together regardless of where the road may lead.

Here are the normal stops along the way:

1. Romantic love is the easiest form of love.

In fact, it’s nearly effortless. This love truly is blind.

Each person believes the other is perfect and that their love can withstand any stresses that may come.

This period generally lasts about two years but can change as early as six months.

After the blinders come off, the couple begins to realize their beloved isn’t as perfect as they thought.

There may also be a small hiccup in their relationship as adjustments are made. This is where the real relationship begins.

A power struggle usually ensues after each partner realizes they must adjust some of their dreams for reality.

At this point one or both may decide to leave the relationship.

However, if they can stand together during this time, the relationship has a good chance of beating the odds.

This is a crucial time of learning to solve problems, negotiating to get what they want, and resolving conflicts.

2. Re-evaluation.

Next comes a point where each one re-evaluates their relationship.

They turn to friends and family to get confirmation that they weren’t foolish after all.

An affair is more likely now than at nearly any other point of a relationship.

They must hold fast to their commitment and re-learn who they are as individuals.

3. Together again.

There is a drawing together again from this point.

They may still have conflicts and differences, but each one is more giving and forgiving where needed.

They’ve weathered some storms and are ready for the next stop.

This is the end of the road for building a rock-solid foundation.

They’ve learned to express their own needs while looking out for the needs of their partner.

No one expects the other to meet their every need, and there is a balance of being individuals as well as a couple.

They can now meet any storm head on and come out standing together with the foundation intact.

From this point forward, their love and commitment only grows stronger.

On top of the foundation of love and commitment, there needs to be trust, conscious attention to your partner, and mutual respect.

With these building blocks placed upon a solid foundation, your relationship will always be strong.

Remember this road map in your journey with your loved one, build a rock-solid foundation, and enjoy true love for life.

How important is your spouse to you?

What can you do to make him/her feel your love?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 27, 2018January 31, 2018

I appreciate my loved ones’ idiosyncrasies. They keep life interesting.

I accept my loved ones the way they are.

Each one of their quirks is another reason to love them even more.

Our bond goes beyond any annoying habit.

I can overlook my loved ones’ idiosyncrasies because my world would be boring without their diversity.

I appreciate the uniqueness of my family.

Idiosyncrasies in my loved ones’ personalities are like the stars in the sky; they brighten up the dullness of darkness.

If we were all the same, the world would seem plain and dark.

I am glad that we’re all different. I am always amused at the unexpected.

My loved ones are spontaneous. They keep me looking forward to what will come next.

I encourage those around me to be who they are.

I am glad that my loved ones feel free and comfortable enough to open themselves to me.

My loved ones know that I accept and treasure them.

I value them as my gift from heaven.

Whenever I have a hard time getting past someone’s idiosyncrasies, I keep in mind that I have my own peculiarities.

Since I have a strong sense of identity, I am able to treat others the way I would like to be treated.

Which of your own personality traits may be difficult for others to accept?

How do you feel when others accept you unconditionally?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 25, 2018January 31, 2018

I enjoy the gift of time with my loved ones.

When I have the pleasure of being around my partner, I give them my full attention.

I love to hear what they have to say.

I cherish their thoughts and ideas.

Every minute I spend with my partner draws us closer.

I crave time with my children.

I just love seeing their cute little toothless grins.

Listening to my children squeal with laughter as I tickle their tummies is something I could do all day long.

I treasure my time with my parents and siblings.

There is nothing in life more important to me than my relationships with family members.

I seek opportunities to be around my family not only on holidays, but also throughout the year.

I invite my extended family to my home on a regular basis.

They know they are welcome in my home.

Each member of my family is unique and special.

When I am around them I cherish each moment.

Whenever I invest time with my loved ones, my investment is returned many times over with happiness and joy.

My family and I may not always agree on every issue.

Sometimes we may not even get along.

But, no matter what, I always love being around the people who make me feel at home.

In the end, I choose to let go of the insignificant arguments, and I will always hold on to memories of precious times together.

I make every effort to be with my family because I know life is short.

Life is fragile. I enjoy my gift of time with them because I do not want it to slip through my fingers like sand.

When was the last time you made your family a priority?

Who can you call today that you haven’t spoken to in a long time?

Talk about that in the Personal Growth Cafe Community!

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September 25, 2018January 31, 2018

Tag: love

I openly accept family and friends planting hope, experience, kindness, and support in my garden of love.

Top Ten Ways to Move on in Your Love Life

How to Delegate Tasks Effectively at Work and Home

How to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Partner

How to Build a Trusting Relationship with Your Kids

How to Build a Rock-Solid Foundation for Your Relationship

I appreciate my loved ones’ idiosyncrasies. They keep life interesting.

I enjoy the gift of time with my loved ones.

I allow love to calm my fears.