People with lower self-esteem tend to fit it difficult to believe in themselves when it seems no one else does. People generally derive feedback from how we’re perceived by others. When that feedback is negative—or worse non-existent—many tend to doubt themselves.
“I thought I was confident when I presented myself at that meeting,” you might think. Then when nobody approaches you to ask more about your business, you start to wonder. Do others not believe me when I say I’m an excellent financial planner? Or massage therapist? Or executive coach?
Or you might get dressed up and go out to a singles’ party. You took the time to buy a new outfit, get your haircut, and lose a few pounds. You say your affirmations before you leave the house: “I’m lovable and (women/men) are attracted to me.” And after the event is over, you can’t figure out why no one seemed to want to talk with you.
Have you ever heard of the mirror effect? That means that when someone says something to you, they may be reflecting back what they’re experiencing IN you. That is, some of the person’s feedback is their own “stuff”, while some is a reflection on your energy.
So if you’re doubting yourself when you go to the party and you start comparing yourself to others—“He’s much better looking than me” or “She’s got a great dress that puts mine to shame”—then the energy you put out is what others pick up on and that’s the feedback they present.
I know this may be hard to take in. A lot of people don’t like to hear that they’re putting out negativity, fear, lack of confidence, etc. They may smile, feel good about themselves, and then not get the results they want or expect. However, when you take full responsibility for the results you get in your life, you’ll experience great freedom. WHY? Because you can change anything that’s not working!
That means when it seems others don’t believe in you, you can begin by believing in yourself. Take an honest appraisal of how you really feel about yourself. Do you truly believe you’re worthy of love? Do you actually feel you deserve to attract clients and prosper in your business? I’m sure you’re thinking, “YES, I DO!” And I would agree many of us do believe that we do believe in ourselves.
However, all I can say is we live in a reflective world where what you put out is what you get back. So if it seems no one else is believing in you, your job is to do what it takes to believe in yourself. And I’ll tell you what—believing in yourself provides great benefits beyond doing it for others. You will feel amazing when you fully believe in yourself. You’ll naturally walk through the world with great ease and confidence—and it won’t matter if anyone else believes in you, because the most important person in your world does! YOU! And just like that, you’ll see positive reflections in others.